Celebrating a mini victory

Hello all,

As you have read before sometimes portion control or lack of portion control can be a problem. My biggest issue is getting enough food in before dinner time so that I'm not putting my body into starvation mode. But there are days where you go out to a nice sit down meal and over eat.

So today I made myself proud. A co-worker and I went to a local pasta restaurant. I didn't do my normal thing of having 3-5 bread sticks, salad, all my meal, and dessert. Today I ordered Chicken Parmesan which comes with salad and bread sticks. I started with a big serving of salad. Eating all that I could only ate 1/2 a bread stick with it. Then when my meal came out I cut it in half, Thinking "Hey if I split this in half I won't have that icky full feeling and then I'll have this for lunch tomorrow:)". I did eat the half a bread stick and a additional one for a total of 2. Then when we were done I happily had the waiter wrap up the rest of my meal with 2 bread sticks and called it good. What did I do differently you ask? Before I went in I told myself that I will eat more veggies and half my meal. I wouldn't need the dessert because I had a raspberry lemonade instead (only drank half). I told myself that, that was ENOUGH for me to survive for this meal. That I didn't need to over do it.

Now.... the mini challenge is to do this at every take out meal. Know that places give you 2-3X the portion size you should be having. Take that extra minute to relax, separate your food or draw a line visually and DON'T eat past that.
It's hard... but I will win this fight.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Probably not going to blog much. No new weightloss updates just preparing for the holiday season. Spending as much time with my husband as possible. Good friends, Good Family, and thanking god everyday I get to remain on this earth to be in these peoples lives.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Things I'm Thankful for and why I'm proud today!

So this year, I will admit I was a very negative ninny. Instead of facing what had happened I buried it and made excuses.

So yesterday I reflected on what I am thankful for:
1. My Husband, For always believing I CAN and making me laugh
2. My Family, for always sticking by my side
3. The fact that I still have a Job and that Duane still has a job. With out our jobs we would lose our home and everything we hold dear.
4. My health, even though I lost the baby earlier this year I have for the most part been pretty healthy this year.
5. Friends, With out their encouragement and laughter I wouldn't have made it thru.

So what I'm proud of. I'm proud that I kept to what I say every year. "It's Thanksgiving so keep to portion size and just enjoy the food." Every year I fail because I just say what the heck I give in... but not this year. I am determined to change my life. I had a little bit of everything and only having to go to one house helped a lot. I felt satisfied that I got all my favorite foods. I also didn't feel like shiz at the end of the night. I can do this. I can make it thru the holidays with out overdoing it!

My 100th post!!

Guess being consistent with posting has paid off. I'm now on my 100th post!

Weight wise really not much has changed. But I can say that I have remained the same so can't be totally negative.

My husband and I have pretty hefty goals for next year and we are starting with baby steps now. No this isn't a "Resolution" as it will be a life change. Hopefully we will never be looking back.

Starting next week we are doing something simple. We are getting up about an hour and a half before we have to leave for work and just actually GET OUR BUTTS out of bed. We are going to make sure we get a nutritious breakfast each day. This is something I neglect often and that is going to stop. Starting Dec 1st we are going to add in some exercise each morning. We will also add in a few things at night thru out the week.

We are both not happy with our bodies and it's time that we both support each other and do it. He even said I can be as hard on him as I can to get him to push harder. And if anyone knows me... no, I mean really knows me I can be pretty ruthless.

His main goal next year is to fit into a super hero costume (yes I'm talking spandex people) and I know he can do it!

My goal is to finally get out of the 300's and close to getting out of the 200's. My focus is no longer on trying to have a family... don't choke! doesn't mean I'm going to do anything to prevent it. It just means I'm done counting and calculating. I want to start living again. Put my efforts on something I can control.

So wish us well. I would say Luck but it's our own efforts that will help and luck has nothing to do with it.

Thanks to my loyal fans that read my blog. I will still try to at least blog every other week as we go along.

Why I failed

*I make myself promises and I don't keep them
*I look at my ultimate goal rather then small ones
*I don't give myself the time
*I make excuses for why I don't stay on track
*I am so full of medication right now trying to concieve that it's hard to regulate my emotions
*I tend to think that I don't have time to count every calorie I'd rather just live and get done at work what I need to
*I have enough stress with work that my homelife needs to be as simple as possible

Until I can kick these items... I don't believe I will succeed.

Celebrating the holiday

Tonight I celebrated my husbands 31st birthday.

Good times with friends and good food. In which I'm sure tomorrow I will be spending most of my time working off.

Here's some pics

Our baby as a clown


Duane and I

Honoring my mom!

I decided that this weeks post would be a reflection on my mother since it's Breast Cancer Month instead of my constant struggle with weight.

My mom got breast cancer at the age of 29 and passed at the age of 32 (May 8th, 1994, Mothers Day). I was 14 yrs old when she passed. For the three years of her battle she showed me how to be a strong independent woman so that I could be there to help my father and brother thru the tough times ahead. My mom also battled weight she would go from being 145 lbs at 5 foot 10 to 180 lbs back down to 145. She yo yo dieted a lot. Part of me wonders if that's what contributed to her cancer.

She was a loving wife, sister, and mother. We used to sing in the car because we so much wanted to be the Judds. She had a laugh and a smile that would wipe what ever was ailing you away. Some say that I look so much like her it's scary. Just wished I would have gotten her 5 foot 10 height hahaha..

She loved both my brother and I very much. She was always really protective but also made us work for what we wanted. I hope to someday instill some of those same lessons in my future children.

If anyone knows me they know that I am a very hard worker and passionate about my job. My mom was very much the same way. I've surpassed her work status by 2 levels and I'm very sure she'd be completely proud of that. She cared deeply about many of her workers and I've taken some of that passion into my own management style. I feel that I'm a pretty good manager to work under.

My mom used to be a big jokester with us. We'd all be laying in our rooms on a hot summer weekend and we could hear my mom laughing and making funny noises from her room to try and get us to laugh. We'd join in of course and then it would become a symphony of sounds and laughter.

So this week I'm dedicating my blog to my mother, my foundation, my rock. May she rest in peace and always live on thru my brother and I. Through our jokes, thoughts, actions, and laughter.

Not taping out... just adding to

So after 4 whole days of nothing but fruits, veggies, brown rice, oatmeal, egg whites, and milk... I've had it! My body is achy, I am very not myself, it's hard to think. I think I'm not getting enough calories to help me thru the day. So I'm adding in a few simple things: White meats, lower fat cheeses

Hopefully that will help me feel better so I can keep pushing thru.

Enough is enough

So I woke up this morning and saw that I had gained 3 lbs this week. I've made every meal at home so I don't understand where this is coming from.

As I stated in my previous blog starting tomorrow 10/11 I am eating clean until 10/29.

NO EXCUSES

I'm also going to get at least 30 mins of something in a day. If I have to break it up to walking at work on breaks sometimes or coming home and rockin out too JUST DANCE on the Wii... Doesn't matter as long as I'm moving. I've been also looking more into the Body Bugg or the equivalents. I think the only thing I don't like is that with each version I've seen you have to pay for a monthly membership to websites. Does anyone know of one that just has it's own computer software that maybe I can get package uploads later on?

Well I'm sticking to this like double sided tape!!! I will get under 300 by the new year. That's been my goal all year and I won't let myself down again.

Eating clean the rest of the month

Well until Oct 29th because that's my big Halloween party for my hubbys birthday.. Then back on Nov 1st.

But this weekend I'm going to shop for all kinds of colors: Greens, Yellows, Reds, Oranges, and maybe blues. I am going to eat as clean as I possibly can. Stock up my fridge at home and in my office to make sure I'm eating well.

I know it's too late for this competition but it's not too late to do this for myself. I want to be extra diligent going into the holidays that I don't gain a single lbs. In fact my goal is to get under 300 by the new year. I can do this. It'll take extra effort on my part and I'm willing to put myself first now.

Not sure what to write...

I gained 1.2 lbs in sept. So far for this weight loss comp I have gained weight since first weigh in. Depressing to say the least. The last several months have just been so hard. I feel like I need a vacation from it all... and then I realize the holidays are around the corner... well this holiday season I'm not going too give into everything. I will NOT gain another lb in fact I WILL lose some. To loose 33.4 lbs before new years is a very aggressive goal. But I need and have to do it!

You blink... and the month is gone

Holy Moley tomorrow is weigh in!!!!

and I'm realizing that I'm still not making exercise and eating right a priority... Looks like I need to step it up for the last month, I know I won't be in the running for any prizes... but I really need to make a better effort. I'm not apologizing to anyone because that means what I've been doing is acceptable and it's not.

Life in perspective

Hello all,

An update on Duane. He now has full movement in his face again! YAY! So happy that the meds worked for him and that he didn't have any permanent damage.

I can't help but to put some things in my life into perspective. There are some things that will need to drastically change for me to become the thinner woman I want to be. BUT I keep focusing on the end result I want rather then the little results I need to achieve to get there. I caught myself saying to my hubby that I need to take "Drastic Measures" over the weekend to start losing weight. I'm at my whits end. but the more I thought about it the more I'm realizing.... I'm in my way. Duane isn't in my way, family isn't in my way, not even friends. The "Drastic Measure" that needs to change is me. I need to stop focusing on my failures and move thru them. I need to start doing what I say and get in exercise each day.

I am to blame for this weight not anyone else!!!

So how do I move past this? How do I reprogram years and years worth of negativity?

I think it's getting off my ass and taking one step in front of the other and see where that takes me.

Update: Cherish each moment

So the meds are working for him. He still has a crooked smile but he's smiling. He also can get about 50% lift on his left eye brow! Progress!!!

I am continuing to support him in any way I can. I appreciate all your support it's helped me out!

Cherish each moment

So this week I have been hit by some pretty heavy reality checks. Last week my husband started complaining about the muscles on the left side of his face. Over the weekend it took a turn for the droopy. Yesterday I was so worried that even though his work messed up his insurance so he doesn't have any I took him to the ER. I literally thought he was having a stroke.

As fate would have it, it wasn't a stroke thank god. But he has Bells Palsy. It's a virus that hits the nerve that affects one side of your face. Makes it so the muscles are weakened. Hopefully we caught it early enough that the medication will help reverse what's happened. In the mean time we are going nuts with the thought of the cost to the ER and a CT scan... but his life is worth more to me then 10's of millions of dollars!

On a lighter note when the CT scan came back totally clear and normal (means no stroke) Duane said "Huh, that's weird... I never thought my brain would show normal". I about died laughing. Leave it to him to make me laugh in an intense situation. All night he was cracking jokes about going as "Two Face" for Halloween or eating ribs and slurring words like a WWE wresting announcer. At least he's has hopes that this will turn around.

But what I realized is that I wish my days away. I wish my moments away just to get to the next moment. I don't just stop and enjoy what I have. I don't take the time to make memories survive. (As I tear up) You never know when someone you love will be taken from you. It's scary that really it can happen in the blink of an eye. So my personal challenge for everyone is to go home tonight and make a memory!

Line Dancing

So last night for my Mother in Laws 50th birthday we all went to a western bar and went Line Dancing. Mind you she has never done this before and has only been to a bar once in her entire 50 years. When she told us this was on the "Bucket List" well... we had to go.

I made the mistake of wearing heels and a western skirt. But I made it thru 3 line dances in 3 hours. It was also 80 degrees inside the building so I was sweating like a stuff pig. Today my feet are barking at me but all in all it was fun. Next time it's jeans and sneaks!

This morning we got out and did some much needed yard work and trying to mow with sores on your feet are not so good. I'm relaxing the rest of the day but so far this weekend has been pretty eventful!

Hope all of you are doing great!

On having to make a hard decision...

So after another month with negative weight results and negative pregnancy tests, I'm done. I'm done trying to be wonder woman and doing everything at once.

I can't focus all my energy on both things. So I had a long talk with my Husband, who is great, and he just wants me to be happy. He's willing to put the baby makin business on hold while I rediscover myself and focus on my weight loss. I will still be taking the meds to balance out my hormones because that can only help in my weight loss.

Believe me most wouldn't think this is a hard choice but I am a very OCD person and highly believe in multi tasking. I've also wanted a child for a long while and waited till I was 30 to try for one, and have been dealing with a great amount of regret for waiting this long. I don't like failing in fact I am so hard on myself when I do. So this entire year so far I have really punished myself... NO LONGER!

This weeks Challenge

So this weeks challenge is to let you in on the person who is Samantha. This is no easy feet as there is so many events that made me who I am. I think though I will focus on why I'm currently in this competition and my current life.

My name is Samantha Jane Thomas and I married my prince, Duane Thomas, July 4th 2009. Duane and I had a miscarriage earlier this year and the reason I joined this competition is to try to become healthier to have a child and avoid this situation again. I also feel that I am a thin healthy person trapped in a fat suit. There is so much I want to do but when I try I feel like I'm going to die. Seriously, I do try! So the only way around this is to focus on what I eat and the movements I do.

So for now...that is me and my personal life.

This is the last time I let myself down..

GAIN.... 7 lbs :(((((

Well as I suspected I gained this month. There were a lot of factors in my way... BUT I am not going to disappoint myself again. I've been on menu for the last 3 days and have tried to move around more each day. I've been getting in my work outs every other day. I truly hope that I can overcome this and show a positive number before the end of this. I really want to be under 300 before the end of the year.

Live... but you gotta learn!!

So this month has been hard. Between getting used to new medications and depression.. and plain old what can go wrong with my home or cars can and did. I just didn't have any fight left in me this month to do everything I needed to.

So what do I do from here? Well this week I'm going to accept Kari's challenge and do what I'm supposed to do. I made a meal plan and stuck to it at the store (no cookies, candy, etc.). My husband and I made a pact this week that neither of us can eat dinner until we've worked out Mon, Wed, Thur, & Fri. NO EXCUSES... the only one that will slide is if we are dead. The reason for this is that when we sit down to eat dinner we get sucked into what ever is on TV and never get back up. This will change!

Today I'm already starting off right and I brought all my food with me to work today so I am doing pretty well so far!

Good luck everyone...

Holy gads batman... weigh in is only a few more days away!!!

I have not at all been on plan or track or anything this month. This is completely my fault. I gave into every temptation, convenience, and just plain boredom.

I had to replace a central air unit this week which cost a pretty penny... and just trying to stay a float in this economy has been hard. It's been cheaper and easier to grab that dollar menu burger or what not.

ALL EXCUSES!!! and frankly I am tired of hearing them come out of my mouth!

I HAVE the opportunity to change my routine
I HAVE the opportunity to pre-prep meals before my week starts
I HAVE the opportunity to work out before I get tired and sit my bum on the couch
I HAVE the opportunity to stop eating when I'm bored just because it's there
and I HAVE to make a change before this kills me!

Loving yourself

Something that I've really been unable to achieve is self love.

I tend to make crack shots at myself or compare my girth to another person and I always come out losing. Examples: My husband will say something that has NOTHING to do with my weight and I jokingly say "Yeah it's because I'm fat", or I'll see a lady walk down the street and go "Damn she's big,... but I'm bigger". Not that I should ever EVER say that someone with weight problems is worse off then I am. It's not fair because I get butt hurt when someone makes reference towards me in passing.

Well it's gotten to the point that my husband doesn't even say anything or talk to me when I make shots like that. He told me "It hurts ME when you say stuff like that about yourself". I never realized before that I was hurting others AND hurting myself.

So my challenge this week is to look in the mirror each morning and say something positive about myself, Pick out something positive in others, and STOP CALLING MYSELF FAT for a laugh.

Looking thinner but no scale movement...

So I have to post this. Yesterday my mother in law told me I was looking good. My husband also earlier this weekend said he's noticing a difference. So I got on the scale... no difference.

I've been focusing on my food intake and not so much on my exercise per doctors instructions with my new medication (Makes me uber tired and fatigued)... So this week I'm going to focus on walking more. I want to see that scale dip!

This burns Calories?!?!?!?!

Yes, today I took the day off work... well I scheduled it off weeks ago just as a random day. Instead of sitting on my butt all day I decided to do house work and yard work... yes! Burnin the calories!

On being broke for a week... but still making good choices

So as what always happens... events come up that you need to buy gifts for. Computer needed a new Hard Drive. The thunder storms took out my wireless router... what else... hahahah

So needless to say until next pay day I barely have a dime to my name. I did however manage to look in my cupboards/fridge and realize I have been buying a lot of great foods and you know what... we'll be ok!

I have 3 bunches of broccoli, celery, salad, spinach, carrots, apples, oranges, grapes, etc. etc. So when my hubby was a little worried I reassured him that all I have to do is cook a little extra for dinners and we'll have left overs for lunches and we'll survive. It's sad that cooking at home is considered surviving. Wow in typing this I think this is a mind set I need to change. Eating out because there's no food in the house should be considered "Surviving" not the other way around.

Kari! I accept your challenge this week!

This Months goals

1. Stay Hydrated
2. Work out atleast 3 times a week
3. Make good eating choices on the week days and don't overdo it on the weekends
4. Say something positive about my self each day


That should be a good enough start

August Weigh in.... better then I thought

Oh man I've been trying hard. My medications have been wacky and I finally saw a specialist on Thursday. Looks like even with my issues I still managed to lose something. YAY!

So here's my scale pic.


I'm not too proud of this # as I know I can do much better. I'm going to really try to get my eating under control and my water intake this next month. Because working out isn't going to do it all.

The Toxicity of my city... of my city

Ok not a song I truly like but fitting for this post. I've been analysing the many issues that I have and in talking with my besty Jack it could be as simple as my pH balance being off. I'm not talking about my deodorant.. I'm talking about my Alkaline/Acid balance in my body. Think back to High school chemistry. If the water in your fish tank or the soil in the ground is too Acidic nothing good can survive.

If I'm more Acidic then that means that my body is a breading ground for diseases. Ew gross and NOT AGAIN! I have had some really weird things happen to me my whole life. Weird illnesses that basically started in my early 20's till now. Actually it's about the time I moved out of my dads house and really started scarfing down those fast food meals and comfort foods. I've had open sores on my legs that at the time the docs had no clue what they were but that antibiotics almost killed me.. today I believe its closest to Merca. Well I had them from about mid thigh to my toes on both legs. It's a miracle I'm still here. Next I had sudden sensitivity in my gums and bleeding. Not like spotting... like covering my entire pillow bleeding. Also when I start to get in a work out grove ALWAYS end up with a cold with in a week. It makes it so I don't want to work out!

So the more and more I think about it the more I'm realizing there is a lot more about my body that I need to know. Just counting calories isn't going to cut it. I am going to get some pH Testing strips from Walgreens or somewhere and test to see if Jack is correct. If he is then I'm changing my diet to be more Alkaline foods (Leafy Greens, Broccoli, Bananas, etc.) and then test again in a few weeks.

This could also be why my hormone levels are low in certain areas.. To know that all along a simple little strip of paper could have told me what I needed to know and help me adjust accordingly. Frustrating... but relieving all at the same time. This week I'm declaring is my last appt for my hormones as I believe I no longer want to give all my money to chemical medicine and try this. It's with in MY Control!

Admitting the things I can not change but having the courage to change the things I can......

So I'm commenting on others blogs and realizing I keep saying "Take it one day at a time" which is the motto for most addiction programs. I too feel that food is an addiction. The issue is that it's a necessary thing.

Tonight while my hubby is getting his car windshield replaced I'm going to head over to the local farmers market and start renewing my taste realtionship with fruits and veggies. Going to smell and touch and take in the aroma. I need to change how I associate with food. I'm finding lately that it's not that I'm enjoying what I'm eating. It's that I'm eating. Doesn't matter what it is it's just the act of eating is helping my down state. So no longer I say!

I am going to buy good things, prepare a nutritious meal, and feel accomplished. I am also going to take my time to enjoy the meal with out TV and focus on every bite. I'm even going to do what I was told as a kid and count my chews before I swallow.

Food and I need to change our relationship.. and it's got to be me to do so.

Small changes

So I'm sitting here reading everyones blogs on break... and I see that others are making great changes.

Me... I've had struggles this month do to illness and allergies as well as many doctors appts. I've been trying to get back onto my work out regimen. I do at least 30 mins of something each day. So I feel good that I'm getting there but I know for the life of me again I'm not getting enough calories thru out the day.

I loooooove sleep! I keep telling myself to get up and make breakfast you'll be better off... what do I do? Hit the alarm over and over until I have to get up for work! Why can't I mentally get over this sleep thing and just get up?!?!? I'm hoping that the specialist next week can figure out what is going haywire with the chemicals in my body so I can feel normal again!

12 days left till judgement day!

So I woke up this morning actually being able to breathe and realized that this month is FLYING by! We only have 12 days till the next weigh in people! 12 more days to make better choices... work out hard... and hope to see the results on the scale.

I personally have a movie date tonight and told my hubby this morning "NO POPCORN". That is my biggest thing. I can't go to a movie with out it. Well this competition means more to me then the popcorn at this point. I'll still see the movie and enjoy, but I won't be partaking in the buttery goodness.

Also for the first time this summer my hair isn't in a pony tail at work. I woke up this morning and decided that apart of my transformation needs to me having more personal pride in my appearance. Not that I looked like a slob or anything before. But that I need to actually put the effort into my hair in the morning to feel good about myself all day which in return I hope helps me make great decisions.

So glad I'm starting to actually feel normal again to be able to work out! So before my movie tonight... it's ON!

Feeling 85% and craving a work out

So this week as many of you know I have been battling a cold. I swear that it's stuck around longer because as my husband says "You just don't know how to relax and rest". I seriously don't. I don't have a clue why I'm not 95 lbs because I constantly feel like I have to be doing something. Dishes, Vacuuming, hunting flies to swat around the house, watering the lawns, pulling weeds and so on and so on.

I wish I had that thing that would just stop making me restless. I basically am go go go until I crash. I think this week it's been even more so. I've cut out my workouts because I basically haven't been able to breathe and I think that because I don't have that release... boom I'm restless! It's even gotten hard to fall asleep or stay asleep.

So I've still got a cough and semi stuffy nose but this weekend we are doing some major summer cleaning so I can set up my guest room :) That might be enough exercise for me... we'll see ;)

I swear this happens everytime....

Every time I get into a work out groove... BAM! I get a full blown cold and not one that you can work through. No the harder I worked the longer it's stayed. So today. I've spent all day resting and finally I'm starting to feel the gook break up in my chest.

This is a 4 day road block now for me. All that was under my control is what I've been eating and all I've been drinking is water, water... and um did I mention more water! I just hope that when I wake up tomorrow I'm 70% better so I can at least make it through the work day tomorrow. Not to mention I want to work out so bad I can taste it!

Baby! This is how I roll!

Ok so I started doing a variety of exercises to keep me motivated.
Walking
Hip Hop Abs DVD's (I love dancing and shaking my boootie!)
Yard work
Basically anything that keeps me moving for 30-60 mins constant.

Let me tell you that doing this for a week has really made me feel good. Even though I've developed a cough the last 2 days I'm pushing thru! I'm downing water like it's going out of style. Hold on boys and girls... This girl is determined!

Actions speak louder then words

So today I went and saw Eclipse for the second time. I love that movie. Sure there are things I wished they would have put in but think they did a great job.

I could have just come home this afternoon and sat on the couch but I didn't. thanks to my sister in law Beaux I went out walkin in the heat with her. Only walked for about 35-40 mins before the heat got to me but I did it. I didn't give up I did it!

Each day I'm going to try to overcome some hurtle in my way. I think that is a great mini goal. If I'm daily trying to do something physical sooner or later it'll get easier and easier.

A new competition starts today!!!

So I'm apart of a new competition that started today. Got my weigh in pic in as well as my full body shot pics.

I have the next few days off so I'm focusing on water intake, eating, and getting on a smooth schedule before I start back up to work next Tuesday.

Don't get me wrong I'm going to partake in some BBQ's this weekend but I'll be bellying up to the veggie tray!

Good luck everyone!

What do you do when...

You feel like your whole world around you is ending...

What I did was joined a weight loss competition to continue my journey. That's what I did. Be damned if I'm going to give up on myself and my desired future now.

The doc is running a bunch of tests on me to find out why I'm having issues conceiving and I told my husband that I am just plain tired of logging every little thing and trying so hard. So I need a new focus... something to bring me back to life. I am choosing me! It's selfish and I don't care. I deserve to be a smaller size. I deserve to be able to buy anything I want from a REGULAR store not a plus size store. AND I WILL GET THERE.

Kari was nice enough to tell me a statistic. 10% weight loss to cure diabetes and 10% weight loss to conceive. So I will try my hardest to reach what ever goal I need to so that I can conceive in a healthy way.

Continuing Journey

So this weekend I made a list of what we are having for breakfast, Lunch, and dinner all week. We went grocery shopping and stuck to that list. The only variance was veggies and fruit that we saw looked appealing.

I have to say that eating healthy does come at a cost. A cost to your wallet! Only half our cart was filled and it came up to about $120 in groceries when the week previous we spent 100 and had a full cart. But I guess that is what we need to do to become healthy!

So I know that the first week is always the hardest. So I will check back in next week with what we accomplished.

I also started writing a book on my weight loss experiences. I got 8 pages in on just the history till now last night. Of course more just notes and chicken scratches and I'll have to elaborate later, but it's a good start. I believe that anyone can benefit from my story just like I've benefited from so many others.

I won't even finish this book until after my total weight loss. Not even sure if I'll share it or get it published. I think for now it's more for me. More like a journal to understand why I keep coming back to this fat self and not just be happy with my skinny self.

I'm an expert at gaining weight

I've decided I'm an expert at gaining weight. What I'm not an expert at is losing it!

I seriously will gain 5-7 lbs in a week if all I do is not focus on myself. I allow myself to just eat when ever or not eat at all for certain meals. I will munch more at night then I do in the morning. All bad things. I also allow myself to do 0 physical activity other then clean the house because I claim to be "Exhausted".

I know this is something that we all go through. The ups and downs of weight loss. I just feel bad when there is always a family function or friends function and there is food. They wonder why you aren't eating and pretty much make you feel guilty for being on a diet. Temptation is a bitch!

Food right now is something that controls me not me controlling it!

Summer... oh sweet summer!

I love summer.... you wana know why?

FRUIT!!! and all you can eat of it!

I love watermellon and cantlope. I love honey dews and strawberries... Man I'm in heaven right now there's some in my fridge! I swear if I lived in a place that this was avalible all year long I would be so skinny because I can totally eat nothing but fruit and be happy the rest of my life!

Happy Summer everyone!

Yeah it's true, giving up is easier

So they say that giving up is easier then actually doing something. I believe that to be true. My whole life I have given up on my weight loss for other things. That is how I got this big.

So I have to ask myself. Am "I" not worth it. Is my "life" not worth the trying?

Each day I find my self trying to save my life, but in some ways I just don't see myself succeeding like I used to in the past. I know that I self sabotage. Maybe I'm up too many hours in the day that's why I'm always starving at 10 PM. I don't know. But I will die trying to figure it out. My body seems to be the damn davinci code or something. There has got to be a healthy balance.. no drastic diets... moderate exercise... please = results!!!

The struggles of weightloss and baby making

So as many of you know I miscarried in Jan. Since then I've been working with my doctor to plan our next attempts at a child. Well we've been given the green light. I have to say that I tend to juggle too many things at once. Having to chart and pay attention to so many different signs is just getting to me.

I took a 2 hour nap today and was sooooo lazy. I couldn't help it. I am so worn out! I think I need to start eating a lot cleaner so that if I don't get to work out it's ok because if I need the rest I need it. I need to listen to my body a lot more. I'm sure others out there know what I'm talking about.

Well good luck to you all in balancing everything out...

New inspiration

So the weight loss challenge I'm doing with my step sis is coming to it's last month. I have to be honest. I haven't done as well as I should have. I've had to deal with a chemical imbalance in my body as well as weather ups and downs...

So today... No more excuses. I plan to do 20-30 min of intense circuit training. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym to do nothing but weights.

My new motivation isn't only this weight loss challenge but I might be going to FL for work in August and I want to comfortably fit in the seats. No Kevin Smith situation for me *crosses fingers*

Losing it! not weight... my mind!

So a few weeks ago my doctor put me on a hormone to regulate my body again. My body has been doing some really weird stuff since the miscarriage in Jan.

But glad to say that this week I've felt normal for the first time in forever. But the few days before that I was in utter pain. So I weighed in this morning and I'm not moving my tickers. I gained 3 lbs and I'm blaming the meds and the hurt for distracting me away from working out.

Tonight or tomorrow going to fill my house with good foods. Next week going to just go to the gym every night after work no matter what.. No aqua class because I am not going to wait for it to start. Just going to do some weight and circuit training.

I'm hoping that now I'm feeling good I can really push forward.

New pics posted

Not sure if anyone noticed but I posted a new main pic and progress on the side pic.

I seem to be holding steady 319-322 and am hoping to be able to break that soon.

It's all UPHILL from here!

So last night I was mega tired but still put on my running shoes. I decided if I could only get 15 mins in then it would be the hardest 15 mins of my life. So I found a street near my house that is completely up hill. I spent 10 mins fast walking up this hill. Then circled the block and went back home. My calves were burning for about an hour and yes I stretched.

Good to know that even when I don't feel like it I can tackle a hill and get something in quickly.

Free Comic Book Day,.... and I'm spent!

Man that was like a marathon! It was fun and frustrating all in the same day. We started out with a big breakfast and then went to stand in line for our comics. Once we got in there was a TON of peeps. We got threw it and came out victorious with out comics!



Then we went to BK for the Iron Man toys and then went home. I made my dad a big spaghetti dinner for his birthday and then all the kids settled down while we watched Iron Man. Poor Deagan's belly was sick when he woke up from his nap and poor kid chucked 3 times before his mommy could get here.

When I woke up this morning I am sore in places I didn't even know I used yesterday. WoW! Going to spend today relaxing because I have a strict work out week ahead of me.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend..

Plateu

Yes, This week I'm maintained. Which in most cases would be a great thing. But in my case... I'm in a competition COME ON!!!!

So this weekend is Free Comic Book Day weekend and we have started a tradition of taking all of our nephews and my niece to this joyous event. We will have them from this afternoon all the way until tomorrow night :) so excited... even though it's 6 kids it's a riot! I'll post a pic of the crew this weekend. Because of this I am going to take it a little lax this weekend. Not overdo it though but just not worry so much about everything.

Next week though... better watch out because it's a new week and a new determination! it'll be less then 2 months to go for final weigh in on this competition and I need to kill it!

Believing in Karma

Yesterday I was having a horrible day. Enough emotional exhaustion to make me take a nap at 7 o'clock at night.

Well today I woke up and was determined to be happy... determined to make this a better day. And so far it's been EXCELLENT!

Can't wait for this weekend when I have all my nephews and my niece to do free comic book day on Saturday and then the weekend after to watch Iron Man 2 and get some much needed work done around the back yard to make it a HOT ENTERTAINMENT SPOT!

New kicks.... new workout

So I found these new kicks at Sears on Saturday and guess what.... they were on Sale!!!

They say they are designed for running. Since I'm starting with quick walking/jogging I figured I would give them a try and then later if I get to where I am running I'll consider the next step up.

So this week I'm going to try to get out at least twice in the nice weather... and break these babies in!

Tonight.... indeed was a good good night!

So kiddies... I decided tonight because my co-worker told me I look like I'm melting... that I would try on the jeans and pants in my first closet that I have been awaiting to put back on for 2 years.

and guess what

THEY FIT!!!!

I came running out into the living room and about scared my husband I was screaming so loud. After a celebratory slap on the tush from him.. I decided that my weigh in tomorrow has got to be positive, it will! If nothing just because I can get into my jeans and really haven't had a good pair of jeans to wear for 2 years. I so want to cry I'm sooooo happy.

I'm not going to celebrate with food. Rather I am going to get a new pair of athletic shoes to motivate me to go jogging. :):):)

Finding a new respect for breakfast

Not that I didn’t already know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I’ve allowed myself all my life to “skip” breakfast. But now that I’m using this food journal to track my calories it really IS benificial. If I don’t get some good calories in at breakfast that throws me off the rest of the day and I’m either too short calories or having to make them up which I’m sure dooesn’t help weight loss.

So goal this week is to wake up 30 mins before my normal time and eat breakfast with my hubbs. That way we are both off to a great start and hopefully that will show on the scale next Friday.

Postive findings

So my husband hid the scale from me all week. "Thank you baby!"
I found that because he did that I didn't feel discouraged every day. I felt like I needed to keep tight watch on my food journal and make sure I get in at least 20-60+ mins of activeness each day.

This week I played "Just Dance" for the Wii almost every night. I love dancing and man do your arms burn after just a few songs. I also took a walk to see how long it would take to get to the local school and back so my hubby and I can start playing basketball there. The last work out I did was Aqua class. It's harder to motivate myself to go to aqua class because it starts at 6-7 then I jump in the hot tub for 15 and by the time I get home it's almost 8 PM and then I'm eating dinner... yuck! it just doesn't fit as well but I love doing it.

So results as you can see from my tickers was positive this week. I'm no longer negative on my ticker... Still adjusting my eating to fit my needs and feel pretty good!

Counting Down to Friday!!!

So with this new weight loss challenge they changed the rules so that I can't post on "That" site my weight loss and only turn in my pic on the last day of the comp. But I feel like I still need to make myself accountable. My Hubby is hiding my scale from me except for this Friday morning and next Friday morning. After that he doesn't need to hide it anymore because I will leave it in the closet until Friday mornings... hahaha seeing a theme yet?

I won't post my weight on here in case the other ladies in that comp try to look on here but I think I can still move my tickers to show my loss!

Wish me luck! I'm trying super hard to focus on my food journal since I can't see my weight. Hopefully this pays off.

Samantha on.... Hiding the scale

SO I am finding myself obsessed with the scale lately. Not just once a day but multi times. So I've had it!

I asked my husband to hide it. I told him he can bring it out for me Friday mornings but until then I don't even want to see it. I don't want to be tempted. Because what I do is get happy one moment and depressed the next.

I also think this might drive me to do better and focus on my food journal all week so that I can see positive movement on the scale when I do step on.

Let's see if this works!

Day 3 of food journaling! The SWITCH

Man I have to tell you this is really opening my eyes as to my eating habits.
I now know that I eat less in the morning and more at night. So a goal in the next weeks is to switch so I eat more in the morning and through out the day I get lighter and lighter.

I also am seeing that I am eating way less calories then I should in a day. I keep ending up at the end of the day far under where I should be. Hopefully the "switch" will help because I'm trying to fight the mentality of "Have to eat all these calories before I go to bed".

I'm already seeing a little positive movement on the scale! YAY!!! I also have been working out with my hubby and plan to ramp it up next week at the gym once I have money to shop and get the proper foods I need for the "switch".

Good Luck Everyone!

Going back to church...

How cliche was it of me yesterday to go back to church on Easter Sunday after not going for years. I've been wanting to get back into church for sometime now but have just made excuses. Last week when my dad put the invite out there again to join him in his parish for Easter Mass. This time... I didn't make excuses... I said YES!
I said yes, knowing my husband couldn't come with me. Knowing that it meant we would be apart for most of Easter.

I have to be honest and say that I was very nervous. Nervous I wouldn't remember to say "Peace be with you" or "Amen" at the right times. But once I stepped in and sat down and looked at all the wonderful Easter outfits on the kids... it felt like home! I listened very carefully to the words spoken. I realized I hadn't been giving god enough credit for everything he has given me.. not what has been taken away. I found my singing voice back as I enjoyed singing every time there was a song. And afterwords... I felt good, like I had reconnected to an old friend, and like maybe this is what my soul has been missing.

So maybe me trying so hard to find a balance was for not because I wasn't incorporating the right balance of things for my soul. I know I need to eat right, I know I need to exercise, and now I know I need to give thanks for every day god allows me to breathe and enjoy those around me.

Amen!

Depression and how I'm trying to get over it

Since January I have been dealing with this on and off depression. Today has just been bad with it. I mean I want to be happy for everyone... but when you constantly hear of someone else getting pregnant. Well it makes you feel like you are a loser or behind the game. The doc and everyone told me that you can usually get pregnant right after a miscarriage.... 3 months later and nothing. So depression is setting in. I'm allowing it to take me over to the point that normal crafts or things I do really have no meaning or inspiration. I have a hard time talking about it because I try sooo hard to be strong and "act" like I'm ok.

The only thing I can do at this point is change what I am in control of... my eating, my exercising, and my self image.

So this is me officially posting that I'm tappin out of the baby making business for now and focusing on my other goals that I can control.

My step sis is starting a 12 week weight loss challenge and I thought while I just finished my work one and awaiting the next round of Kari's that sure I'll sign up for hers... just to keep me motivated. Maybe it'll also refocus me so that I can get somethings in my life in order.

Victory is mine!

So just had to blog this... Yesterday afternoon I was starving... LITERALLY!

So I gathered up 85 cents and went to the vending machine. I could see all those shiny wrapped chocolate just glittering to entice me...

So I did what any girl with will power would do.

I PICKED THE PRETZELS!

I walked out of the break room giving myself a high five and said "Victory is Mine!" as a few co-workers laughed as they passed I felt overjoyed that I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE with the options I had.

Dealing with another cold... and getting back to it!

So last week after I got back from Vegas I ended up with a pretty bad cold... which too this day I am still seeing some effects of. I do however want to get back into my routines! The sun is shining! I gotta!

So my husband about a month ago bought this resistance trainer called the "Tower 200" or something like that. I tried it and let me tell you. At first I was like... this is CAKE!! after about 10 mins and panting and squatting and punching.. I was HOOKED!

So I want to incorporate this into my routine as well to help tone. I am not sure I'll do aqua aerobics just yet until I'm fully over my cold so my doggie better get used to the walks in the good weather this week!

Sending hopes out to everyone for a successful week!

Vegas and a pic

Sunday night when we got there my hubby and I ended up going to happy hour (which was actually 2 1/2 hours) and relaxed and talked. It was a very enjoyable time. The next day we went to Ceasers Palace to shop and met up with friends for lunch at the Planet Hollywood restaurant there. After we walked around for a few more hours then headed back to our hotel to get ready for the show.

We went to a vampire show called BITE. It was at the Stratosphere and was totally awesome. All classic rock and totally fuN!


As you can see.... I totally run with Vampires!

We drove back Tuesday so not much to report there... but the trip all in all was fun.

Today my hubby and I worked out together and then I made a kick ass stir fry! Back on track!

On to the next....

Vegas baby.... Vegas!

Yes, tomorrow I leave for Vegas for a few days..

My goals:

Walk around A LOT and see everything I can
Eat sensibly
Have as much fun with my hubby and my friends as I can
Bring back awesome pics from our trip

SO good luck ladies this week. When I get back my husband and I are ramping up some new resistance training exercises into our cardio routines... should be fuN!

New Ticker... New Goal!

As many of you can see I have 2 tickers on my blog. One for my ultimate overall goal (Side right)and one for my mini goal (Top). I asked you all for suggestions on my newest goal and I think I've come up with it.

Be under 300 lbs by June!

I originally thought May. But I want to be realistic with my goal as it's a little over 20 lbs. I am doing this the smart way.. no pills, no shots, just clean eating and exercise.

Official work weigh in!!!

Ok so I know that different scales can show different results. So I'm going to post that I lost over 17 lbs in 2 months on the work scale with my work weight loss challenge. My goal was 20 but man I'll TAKE IT!!! But going forward will only be posting pictures of my at home scale to stay consistent.

Today we also have a pot luck at work and guess what. For the first time ever I'm NOT going to partake because it's too tempting. I'm going to stick to my home made chicken salad and clean eating all day! I want to see this weight loss continue even if it's only inches at a time. A loss is a loss!

Now I need a new motivator for a new tracker at the top of my blog... I'm taking suggestions!!!

Update: I placed 3rd in the competition. My prize..... a box of Samoas :P :( guess my husband will be really happy because I'm not undoing what I've done!

I am really happy right now :)

One more day...

One more day till the final weigh in at work. I am doing everything in my power to eat clean, get plenty of water, Fiber, and exercise.

Now I know that one day of being good isn't going to erase days of being bad... and I need to move forward and keep eating clean through out the week to have more positive results.

Stay tuned for tomorrows results!

Saturday starting my "Eating Clean"

So my weigh in is next Wednesday for work..... blah!

I'm not going for the individual record because I know anyone on diet shots/pills will win.... I want to still show a loss for my site so that we don't have to pay for the other sites lunch.

I also want to do this whole thing the right "Lifestyle" changing way and not something that isn't fully tested and may cause weight gain in the long run.

So I am going to do a "Clean Eating" detox from Saturday thru Tuesday. Cutting out as many carbs as I can. Here is what I'm looking at doing.

Breakfasts
Oatmeal
Eggs
Fruit

Snack
Yogurt or string cheese

Lunch
Salad
Chicken
Light dressing or balsamic vinegar

Snack
Fruit or Veggie

Dinner
Chicken/Turkey
Broccoli or another green veggie
Carrots (Or veggie medley)

Last snack
Pineapple juice

I'm sure I'll do some variation but eating about this with my trainer last time took 14 lbs off the first week I did it. So what can it hurt right before a weigh in?

My goal is to prep foods all weekend to be ready to stop making EXCUSES!

Na na naaa naaa Hey Hey Hey Goodbye 320's!

Wooo Hooo!

FINALLY!! the hurtle that has be plaguing me for months... I am finally out of the 320's! I feel great!

Now it's a matter of keeping it up. Making good choices... and working out!

Stay Tuned for tonights blog.... Major Hurtle!

I'm excited to do tonights blog.... so stay tuned

Mixed emotions

This week I have been dealing with some crazy mood swings and mixed emotions. I try to stay away from goodies... I'm really good about it at work, but when I'm home I tend to want to dive for that cookie or piece of left over cake.

These are excuses I agree. I need to change my mental state to not want these things so much. I mean summer time all I want is watermelon and Cantaloupe... why can't it be SUMMER! Seems like when it's sunny all I want to eat is fruit.

I know I can have fruit all year long. But in the winter it's like you are stuck with apples and maybe some good oranges but not much else.

Part of me says.... how is it fair that my neighbor can eat all she wants and not gain an OZ but I eat a salad and watch what I eat and if I have ONE thing out of schedule BAM a gain or I just maintain my current weight.

I need to get out of the 320's! I need to defeat it! It's bringing me down!

Even traveling I lost a little...

So this week I had a lot of issues stacked against me. I ended up with a cold which caused me not to be able to do aqua aerobics... on top of that a last min bns trip was scheduled for me so I spend Wed and Thursday in airports.

But regardless... when I stepped on the scale this morning this is what I got:




YAY!!! a loss is a loss. With all the fast food and temptations when flying I am pleased to say I made some pretty smart choices and still lost a little weight.
I do however have to look into my diet this weekend. With the last weigh in on March 17th I need to pump it up to get it going.

I believe that my work outs are pretty solid. I really need to focus on my food and water.

a head cold.... REALLY

This week of all weeks. I'm preparing to leave Wednesday night for San Diego for a work meeting at 7:45 AM Thursday... So why this week of all weeks do I need to get a head cold! GRRRR...

Not to mention I have like 0 time to try to get over it before then. I also because it was so last min have to NOT go to the gym this week so that I can now rest and get prepared for this trip.

Guess I can cross my fingers and pray that everything goes ok!

Sam's got her Grooooove back!

Wow... how amazing do I feel you ask? I feel great! I managed to do 5 work outs last week. I also did my work out last night and am looking forward to my Aqua Aerobics class tonight. I have been getting there a little early so I can swim some laps before we start class. (My class starts an hour after I get off work and is 20 mins away... enough time for 3-5 laps)

I plan to keep going all this week.

I've stopped telling myself I can't do something, because I know I CAN. I moved up to the intermediate weights at water aerobics.. I've stopped my mouth talking and focused on keeping my abs tight and doing the work outs properly and I'm already feeling my clothes fit better.

Here's a new goal:
Back myself into the wardrobe I have hanging in my spare closet by May-June!

Feb Weigh in.... 323.6 :)

So today was the first weigh in for my work weight loss challenge. I started out the challenge at 328.2 and as of today am now 323.6. That is a 4.6 lb loss!

That is good. I ended the month with a loss. I found my work out groove again and have felt so good the past week. I'm back BABY!

I'm not going to let this V-day weekend get the best of me. I'm going to get my water in. I'm going to eat as clean as possible. I am also going to take my dog on a few walks.

Everyone have a good weekend! Stay away from the sugar hahahaha :)

My most common "Excuses" I let rule what I do...

So this week an idea was thrown out to write down your short term and long term goals... and then also go a step further. Write down your EXCUSES!!! The purpose of this is to face your excuses that hinder you from obtaining your goals. So instead of starting off with my goals, here come the excuses:

1. I'm to tired
2. Gym time takes away from me or family time
3. I can have one piece what is the harm, I'll work it off tomorrow
4. Not enough money to eat correctly
5. Not enough time to pre-prep meals
6. Not enough time to cook meals
7. My favorite TV shows that I recorded are calling me to the couch
8. Why do it today when I can work harder tomorrow (repeat the cycle)
9. "I Can't"

Now, I'm pretty positive at least my husband has heard me say most of these if not all of them. I'm also sure there are a dozen more he's heard me say. One thing he said to me yesterday that touched my heart was "Before Dec, when you were going to aqua class all the time and kicking ass I was proud of you".
Proud, that word means so very much to me. Not sure why other then all my life that is the one thing I always wanted to hear and felt I didn't hear it enough. But why do I need someone else to say that to me... why can't I be proud of myself! I think it's because I fall onto my "excuses" to hinder my goals so that I don't feel I can be proud of what I've accomplished.

So in an effort to shut out excuses I've asked my husband to be brutally honest with me when I'm making them. I also am putting it upon myself to really STOP THE INSANITY!

So now that I've gone on and on... Here are some of my goals:

1. Finish work weightloss challenge with 20 lb loss (date: March 12th, 2010)
2. Write a "I'm under 300" blog (Goal Date: April 13th, 2010)
3. Lose 30-50 more lbs (after the I'm under 300) by the end of 2010 (Goal Weight: 270-250 lbs)
4. Lose another 50 by summer 2011 (Goal weight: 200 lbs)
5. Lose another 50 by end of 2011 (Goal weight:150 lbs)
6. Once I get to my ultimate goal weight of 135-140 go on a shopping spree in Vegas with my husband (Goal Date: Spring 2012)
7. Tell myself "I CAN" every day

Crunch week... litterally!

So this Friday is the first weigh in here at work. I tried to be as good as I could be over Superbowl weekend but I know I need to buckle down this week.

Tonight I'm going to go to the gym and do some cardio for 15-20 mins before aqua class. I thought it might be good to get a little sweat going before I dive into the pool.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some weights
Wednesday: All Cardio machines
Thursday: Cardio and Aqua class

Then with the weigh in Friday I can say I did all I could do. I am also focusing again on water intake as well as food intake this week. It's been hard to eat totally healthy when you are living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. But none the less I feel like I'll make the right choices. My fridge at work has fruits and yogurt. My fridge at home has veggies, fruits, and string cheese. So I can't do too bad right?

Wish me luck... this is going to be a marathon week

Dear Caffenated Soda.....

Dear Soda,

Last night I hit rock bottom with you again. I had been very good since Nov until my birthday by not even having a drop of you. It seems that I have fallen off the wagon again and let you back into my life.

Yesterday, when I finished off most of a 2 liter of Pepsi MYSELF I realized I must let you go.. I know there are going to be times where I might give in again but I do not plan to in the months to come nor to this extent again!

So please... know that we had some good times but my waist line just can't handle your ingredients.

With love and respect...
Me

This past week and emotional challenges

So this past week I worked on my water intake and portion control but Friday emotionally lost it. Now I haven't gained anything but I haven't lost anything either.

So Friday I heard from a high school friend that his wife is preggers for the 3 time in 2.5 years. He believes "it's in the water"... So, where is this water?! and how can I drink it fast enough hahahaha. It was amazing how I was in a good mood before then but once I heard I started to get jealous and angry. I didn't hardly talk to a soul at work that day and when I got home I buried myself in the world of Eclipse just so I didn't have to think about babies. I thought that I was over what happened before but I guess I still need a little time to grieve.

So I decided that this week... regardless of how cold it is outside, I'm going to go back to Aqua Class at my gym. I was going Monday, Tuesday, and Thursdays until I got pregnant and my doc told me to stop because of my complications. Well now that the miscarriage is over I'm going back. I loved aqua class and I felt like I was doing good.

Good luck this week too all who are working on healthier lives!

Low fat Taco Salad

Hello all,

I see that others are posting their healthy versions of their favorite dishes and here is one that my husband and I just came up with.

Low Fat Taco Salad
(Feeds 4)
1lb Ground Turkey (You can choose your fat ratio depending on your diet)
1 packet Taco Seasoning, Lower sodium version
Grated Fiesta or Taco cheese
Tomatoes
Sliced Olives (small can presliced we prefer)
Green Onions
Greener Selection Salad in bag (Your choice we choose darker greens)
Dressing of your choice

You first cook the ground turkey and add seasoning per the packet instructions.
Then while that is simmering you can cut your veggies to preferable sizes.
First place salad on a plate and then layer your other veggies.
Then sprinkle on 1/4 cup of shred cheese. Add on top your seasoned ground turkey.
And then last you drizzle on the dressing of your choice. I prefer low fat zesty Italian and my husband prefers ranch. You can also drizzle on some salsa for more kick if you choose as my husband loves that. You can also take a small handful of Frito's or tortilla chips and crush them on top for a little texture. But only a small handful!

This recipe gets you TONS of yummy veggies and protein. You get very little fat and it's mostly all good fats for you. Try it! You may love it!

My B-day weekend and water challenge

Wow, What a great Birthday! Started off with a Birthday Brunch at my dad's place. Then Dinner at Chili's with some friends and then went to a movie with them all. It was such a great time and I definitely feel loved!

This is my husband and I at Chili's


Sunday we had a celebration at my husbands family and his mom is so cute they got all pink and black decorations and I got another tiara hahahaha. I'm such a girl sometimes.


Water Challenge:
Last week mid week I started this but stopped over the weekend with all the festivities. I'm going to drink water this week... simple enough right.. RIGHT! I can do this. My goal is to drink between 140-160 oz every day. It'll be easy because instead of focusing on the big # I have small oz goals during the day. If I average 10 oz each hour I'm awake this will be a piece of cake... fat free cake.

I also am going to really pay attention to portions this week and calorie intake.
Another goal this week is to get to the gym at least 3 times and give it my all but not kill myself.

Blog at cha later

Tomorrow... I turn 30

So this morning a week after my weigh in I now weight 323.8. I notice my weight goes up and down from day to day but the past 3 days it's gone down. I have been focusing mainly on my water intake. So that's a 4.4 lb loss!!!

Today I'm also reflecting on many things. Mostly reflecting on what all happened in my 20's. I remember starting off my 20's as a 160-180 lb girl who had all the dreams in the world and all the time in the world to make them happen. I then met a boy and got married... gained 200 lbs while I was married because I was so depressed and knew 6 months into the marriage that things were not right. Then after 3 years of marriage... 5 years with this person we divorced. I then at the young age of 25 found myself again... the Sammie I had lost. She is a vibrant, independent, outgoing gem! I also found my best friend Jack (married to Mindy... love ya Mindy) who helped me with fitness and nutrition and through that relationship we became best friends. At the same time I met my current Husband and then just last year on July 4th, 2009 married the love of my life.

Now that is a lot of happenings in one decade! But in all that I noticed a pattern. Every time I find a man I gain weight. I think we all do. We get comfortable, Don't go out as much, and forget about ourselves. Now in no way is this ever the guys fault and that took most of my 20's to figure that out. The only one who can change me is me. So I went from 160 to 360 down to 250 with Jacks training and now back up to the 330's. In my head I know what I need to do. I've done it and been successful, but I think this time it's because I'm not just doing it for me on my own. My Husband also gained 80 lbs since we've been together and now I am cooking and prepping for two. He's really supportive which is great. I can't wait until the spring so we can go on some hiking adventures and stop being stuck in doors. But I digress from the original purpose of this blog...

I'm turning 30 tomorrow.

Yes, a big milestone. With it comes many hopes and dreams much like I had in my early 20's.

*I want to become healthier (The RIGHT way that will stick the rest of my life)
*I want to become an example for my family that has struggled with weight (Not just my Husband but also my extended family)
*I want to have a successful pregnancy (Preferably in my early 30's)
*I want to be alive not just go through the motions of day to day life

I feel that all of the above is obtainable as long as "I" am willing to work on it. Thank you all for your support! Now lets be gone with my past and be excited about my future!

A little insight to my current happenings... (Sorry, I know TMI)

Not many of you know that in early December I found out I was pregnant. I had a difficult month with sickness and spotting and pains. At my 9 week checkup (Jan. 5th 2010)my doc could not get a heartbeat and sent me for a U/S (Jan. 6th 2010) which turned out to be blank. Completely BLANK! The symptoms that my doc had told me previously for miscarriage were not what I experianced in late dec. I had been spotting all month and had a couple heavy days. The pains she thought I was having she said was due to bloat and constipation because there wasn't any matter passing really that she stated could be the fetus. So regardless I miscarried.

Now miscarriages are no strangers to women on my mom's side of the family. Infact my mom had 5-6 miscarriages that my dad could remember in the 6 years between my birth and my brother. So mentally I was a little prepared to not get too overly excited about my expentant state until I was for sure carrying a baby that may make it full term.

I have been overweight my entire twenties and on the 23rd of Jan I turn 30. I should be super excited about my birthday but just to know that I spent an entire decade overweight is a little depressing. I've tried many things and in the past few months decided I was going to start to question myself when I go to grab food.... Do I need it... is it healthy... and what is making me want this so much! I think that maybe dealing with my inner issues may help stop the cycle. I don't want to be writing a blog when I'm 40 telling people how I spent 2 decades fat! So I really am trying to make better choices.

So two things.... I need to lose some weight so that I feel better about trying again for a baby... I also need to do this so I can focus on a positive and not the negative of what I just went through.

One day at a time right?

Starting Weight for the work weightloss challenge

328.2

If I post it then I am accountable. I am close to what I was when I last weighed in for my blog so I am happy about that. I made it through the holidays with only a 1 lb weight gain!

So here I go... next 60 days! Next weight in is on Feb 12th!!!!
Goal: 10 lbs lost

Weight Loss Challenge at work

Tomorrow is the first weigh in for the weight loss challenge at work. It's going to run from Jan 15th to March 17th (last weigh in on March 12th).

I decided what better modivation then a little friendly competition at work. Here are the things I am going to try and do during my day to keep me moving and modivated:

No more Elevators
Park farther away on good weather days
Pack meals each day (No drive thrus)
Keep track of my water intake and shoot for 60-80 oz a day
Take 10-15 min walks in the parking lot (weather permitting)
Go to the gym after work each night (Friday can be an exception, maybe every other week)

After tomorrow's weigh in I will adjust my ticker to this challenge and a personal goal I am setting of loosing 20 lbs during this challenge. The next weigh in will be on Feb 12th. So we'll see what progress I make with some of these small changes.

Wish me luck!!!