Gifts that mean so much

In reading my Cousin in Laws blog today it made me think... Isn't it great when our significant others pick up on hints of things we NEED to help us on our journey. For her (being pregnant and due in Feb I think) she really enjoys running and really really wants to get back to it so my cousin gave her items for that including gift certificate for new running shoes.... that was priceless to her.

For me, I just want fun work outs. My husband knows I love to sing and dance around the house (not professionally hee hee). My work outs can be hard, challenging, but for the most part need to be different. So he got me Just Dance Summertime and Just Dance 3. I have 1 & 2 and looooove them! So I'm excited to have these two new additions. The other one he wanted to get me was Zumba 2 for the Wii but TRU was out so I'm going to see about ordering that one. The greatest gift my hubby can get me is the gift of bettering my life. I appreciate him for doing this for me. I appreciate him for eating my concoction's in trying to better feed us.... and most of all I appreciate that no matter what his love is unconditional. He just wants me around longer... who can blame him :)

Holidays, budgeting, and goals

Seems like every holiday season I enter it with good intentions to stick to a budget so that we don't feel strapped the entire month... and each year we go a little overboard and find ourselves in a tight situation around the holidays. I know we both mean well...

I think this year is a little tighter then normal because we felt we needed one reliable car so we took on one car payment. We just need to get used to wiggling this into our budget. I pride myself on being a keen shopper. I tend to not buy myself clothes or shoes unless I absolutely need to and they MUST be on sale. I shop for groceries with Coupons where ever I can. I do however have a "impulse" buying issue and we have a fast food issue.

So I'm already thinking of some resolutions for next year that will round out our budgets, bodies, and minds:

#1 Only one meal out a week: Not only will this save us some cash, but it'll help our waist lines. We will appreciate more that meal we carefully choose for that week. Make it a date night out or something and it becomes a special treat.


#2 I am going to read one book a month: I've proven to myself that I really do need to take time to slow down and enjoy myself. Reading would be a good way to relax and motivate my imagination.


#3 Keep a up to date account ledger and stick strictly to a premade budget/grocery list: We aren't going to die if one week we can't afford "Impulse" items such as comfort food (AKA cookies, cakes, chips, etc). Instead we will carefully plan out our meals and only buy what we need to make them. I do like having a stock pile on hand so that won't change but I will budget to make such trips to keep the pantry up. Ultimately this will help with having more money in the bank during those hard times of the month and hopefully pay off debt and save for things like vacations.


#4 Take time for myself: I'm going to be selfish... that's right... SELFISH! I need 20-30 mins a day just to myself to do what I want to do. This means putting more focus on my health. I don't want to take a day off from working out. I want to make it apart of my daily routine. I know it'll be hard at first and I might not see the rewards for a while but they will be there. I want to walk a 5K this year Damn IT!!!! I let myself completely down this year by only doing a 1K.. I'm tired of letting myself down. I need to get it in my head that doing this is only going to make me happier, secure my future, and maybe... just maybe back my butt into all those clothes I have packed away for "When I get to X size". I'm tired of watching the biggest loser and wanting so bad to make a change... I have to be the change I make happen... one step at a time.


#5 Take time off and not lose the time I've earned: I know what you are thinking ... WHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTT?!?!?! she is nuts for not taking her time off. You are completely right. I am nuts. I have been at my job for over 10 years and have deserved the time off I have earned. This year I basically am handing time back since I can only roll over so much from year to year... next year, I will end the year with out having to give any back. I plan to do this by scheduling time to make home repairs/paint, Lunch/Movie dates with my girls, Vacations with my handsome Hubby, or just because.


So I'm sticking to 5 very doable items. Anymore and it might be too overwhelming to handle in a year. I'm changing my Blogger motto for the year... time to make something happen.

Reflecting on what I'm thankful for. . .

I am thankful for my Husband, who despite all of my back and forth this year with pills for balancing out my hormones and dealing with my mood swings has stuck in there. I am blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life to be my support.

I am thankful for my family, There are a lot of nuts in there but this year we have seemed to stick together. Shared many laughs and joys this year and I'm looking forward to continue to grow with all of you.

I am thankful for my health, In the past years I have gone through some weird health things and I'm glad to say that I'm going on I think year 3 with out any real major issues. I've been trying to focus on making small changes and will continue to do the same as long as the results stay good.

I am thankful for myself, I've really had to step out of my comfort zone this year and speak up for myself in situations. I am a outspoken person but there was aspects of my life that I just shut up and took it. This year I declared would be the year of change and I did so by proving that I'm not wonder woman and accepting the fact that it was ok.

Lastly, I'm thankful that I still have a stable job that allows me to have a home, make changes to that home, finance a new much needed car, and to spend time away from that job on trips with my husband.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Busy busy busy

It's been a while since I've checked in. Between getting ready to go on vaca, go on vaca, and deal with all the catching up at work getting back I haven't focused so much on my working out or nutrition. I'm hoping that I'll get to a good place this week to start walking or working out again.

I'm a ZOMBIE!

Did a 1K walk today at "Night of the Running Dead" in SLC. It was great fun! Spent 4 hours walking around and hanging out with family. It was great to see all the costumes. Bad part..... weirdest sunburn I have ever gotten:



That will be interesting to tell folks when I go back to work on Monday hahahaha. I was so happy that I went. It's out of my norm to do something like that. I think next year I might consider doing the 5K but I'm NOT a runner by any means. We'll see.

The yo yo... and Night of the running dead in SLC

So I went back up to 343 but the past 2 weeks have really focused and am back down to 330.8 :) Going to keep pushing myself to stay on track. I've gotten some great compliments which has helped.

So there is an event on Oct 15th in SLC, UT called "Night of the Running Dead" they have you choose whether you want to be a human or a zombie (Zombie I chose of course). There is a 1K walk which I'm doing with my mother in law... and there is a 5K run which my sister in laws are doing (I'm not to that point yet, pushing for next year). Humans get a 2 min head start... This should be fun because we get to dress up as our zombie selves and we get a shirt for the event. Loving that we are doing this as a family. Live bands, festival... should be a good time.

Counting down until vaca at the end of the month, need the relaxation and time with my hubby and away from work. So maybe my next post will be after the zombie run then after the vaca..

Have a good month all... weight loss dust for all!

Yuck.. life got in the way

I gained 10 lbs back. I swear I go to bed and gain all the weight back. So I've decided I'm going to just get moving again and eat as clean as I can. I have a vacation in almost a month that I'm super excited for. I'm going to just focus on getting ready for that.

You might not hear from me for a little bit.

And the first week results are.... drum roll!!!

Down to 328!! Yay!!!!

Let me tell you my shock to have lost 12 lbs in a week. That means I'm well with in my goal to hop on a plane in little over a week. I knew I could do it. I've done it before. I didn't do anything unhealthy. I've been eating on meal plan 99% of the time. No Candy, No Soda, and I'm finally starting to lose my with drawls headaches.

Tonight I have a date night with the hubs and I planned today to be able to have popcorn (no butter) and twislers (sugar free if I can find it). I will only be drinking water. I'm so excited to be going out and planning what I'm eating before so I don't overdo it.

Duane is also doing this with me. He's weighing in tomorrow and if he chooses to share I'll let him do so on his blog.

Diabetes eating plan

Before you freak out... No, I don't have Diabetes. I did however test high normal on my last test and my OBGYN suggested in my TTC efforts that I try this diet. I hate using the word diet so I'm doing an eating plan. It's actually very similar too a plan that I've done before so I'm excited to be starting this Monday. I'm going to go shopping for it all tomorrow morning and spend tomorrow prepping my meals for the first 3 days of the week. The first 7 days the plan gives you 1600 calories a day 400 calories each meal for a total of 4 meals. You eat every 4 hours. It recommends walking 30 mins a day. Monday I'm actually going to try a Jazzersice class with a couple of girlfriends to see if I like it. I do try to walk on breaks during work when I can. So just need to make sure I get the full 30 mins at least done a day.

After the 7 days then there is a 28 day plan that gives you more flexibility in the foods you can choose for your meals. As I read this book "Flat Belly Diet for Diabetes" it says that should be enough time to break habits. Most people have lost 12 lbs in 3 weeks. With the weight I'm at I'm sure I'll lose more then that.

I have to get on a plane to a client in about 2 weeks and would love to have lost 10--15 lbs before then. I'm also planning a trip to Cali (DISNEYLAND) the end of October and would like to be down 20-30 lbs by then. Then maybe be down 50 total by Christmas... I know pretty aggressive but I've lost 50 lbs in 3 months before just by eating better and moving.

I have so many clothes in 2 closets I can't fit into... by the end of the year I will not only fit into all of them but be able to donate what is too big. :)

I'm just Livin... L-I-V-I-N

So this week many hustle and bustles happened. It sucks when both your cars need to be registered the same month each year. Never the less repairs done. One car registered the other should be by tomorrow.

This week I decided to not be a debbie downer. I decided to enjoy each minute that I had. I did my walking on breaks and that felt good. Been cooking at home a little more and this week we are going for 100% no fast food. I even went to scrapbook club last night and wasn't a huge downer because I was "Tired" or something else. I sat there in the heated room with a fan blowing my project 2 and fro laughing, enjoying the company of the ladies, and really loving my creation.

When I got home last night I mentioned to Duane that I haven't really been scrapbooking in my room all that much since I moved everything down stairs... funny he said he had noticed. I've been so caught up in other things I hadn't noticed I haven't done that or painted or played my sax in a while. Maybe it's really time I started Livin again! Do the things I enjoy and if happiness follows, well I am ready for ya!

Baby steps for sure... not buying any more clothes until I drop some sizes.

Walking. . . . . . . . . . .

So I've been making it a goal to get off my butt at work and take at least 1 15 min walk around the parking lot a day. As a manager time to get that in is almost unheard of, but I've been forcing myself. I put 2 a day in my schedule and try to at least make one of them.

This is making me feel better BUT and there is always a but, I don't feel like it's enough. In fact I know it's not enough. By the time I get home, get dinner made, get the dogs played with, get what ever house work I need to get done. . . I'm exhausted. I don't even have a child yet and I'm so worn out... mentally from the work day and then physically from all the stuff I feel I need to do.

I know we all feel this way. We start off really gungho about the whole weight loss thing and we give in to excuses. I have 0 yes 0 weight loss to report. I believe this is #1 due to having so much to do I make what ever is quick and easy. Trying to put veggies in the the mix most of the time though. #2 Stress!!! with work, with trying to have a baby. I find myself a lot lately wishing I were a kid again so that I could only have to worry about keeping my room clean and homework. Funny, as adults we forget how to "Play"... not video games, but play outside. Duane and I have been talking a lot lately about me just worrying about getting my body right and my hormones back on track... not worrying about calculating every step of my cycle to maybe have a child. Even though I said I took 6 months off... I took it off from everything so I didn't do anything to get myself right.

So with that said I will probably be telling my family and friends that the whole baby situation is on hold. I'm getting more and more depressed by the day. This isn't all of who I am. It's like my whole world was put on hold for 2 years... 2 YEARS!!! That is a lot of time I could have been focusing on other things and enjoying my life. If I died tomorrow I could only say that I was a hard worker. . . and that is sad.

So time to actually start Walking the walk... not just going through the motions.

Down a couple more!!!

So I'm down to 331.8

This week has been majorly stressful! My poor 4 month old puppy came down with Parvo and she was in the vet hospital all week. Between that and it being a short week at work but a weeks worth of stuff to do... I haven't made the best choices. I've not walked on breaks this week, I've drank more non water then water, and I've eaten poorly.

Now that I know I've done this I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm going to realize what I've done and then I'm going to move on. I could have done much better but not going to shame myself for losing over 10 lbs in 3 weeks.

Puppy is doing well. A lot of meds have to be administered through out the day still and special food. Eventually we can let our dogs play together again... and she is dying to play with Hudson! It's been hard to keep them apart.

I have been switching to anything sugar free. There are times I want some chocolate or a Popsicle. It's nice to know I have some great tasty choices there.

It's dim... but it's light

So at the docs on 6/20 I weighed in at 344.5, after that hard hour of talking and accepting what I needed to do... what a difference a week can make. On 6/27 I weighed in at 337.8 that is yes a 6.7 lb loss..

High Five!
Do a little dance

This week I'm working on walking at least once a day, moving more, making good choices! and drinking lots o water...

I'll check in next week and maybe post a tracker.

Ok, Ok, I get it!

So many of you that follow my blog know of my struggles to start a family. Well I switched doctors this week and was very impressed by how much he wanted to know about my history and also spend time making sure I was informed as to EXACTLY what I needed to do.

So, OK I get it. I'm over weight. In order for him to consider giving me chlomid he's recommending that I lose 30-40 lbs with in the next few months. He's giving me some meds to regulate my hormones and also to support reproductive health. So far they are making me sick but I'll just have to deal.

Reality is... If I want it then I need to do what it takes so I can achieve it.

No more excuses, no more poor me's, no more sitting here thinking I should do something maybe tomorrow... no get off my butt and just do it! I've started walking on breaks at work. I'm back to calculating every single thing that goes into my body (Finding out I'm not eating enough, and not enough of the good stuff). I'll crack this code and just by doing these things the weight should fall off. I have to stay positive and believe that if I put in the efforts I'll get a big reward. The reward I've been waiting over a decade for.

Next time I reach for a soda or a piece of cake I'm going to ask my self "Do I want X more then I want a baby?"
I know the answer will always be NO I don't want X more. I don't need it.

So I've been maintaining at 332 for a month now. I guess I should be happy that I'm maintaining but that's my MO. I maintain.... if only I could get down to 160lbs and maintain ;)I've been cutting back on the drive thru and making killer turkey burgers and meals at home. The only thing I keep craving is little ceasers crazy bread... boo you are bad for my thighs!

So after 6 months of not being on any meds and not focusing on testing, charting, and calculating every little thing... I think I am mentally ready to start focusing with the doctors again on raising my progesterone levels. That's what they keep telling me will help us finally have a child. Right now all I'm asking god for is one child. So instead of leaving it up to chance anymore to get pregnant again.. I'm going to go back and do what the doctor tells me. So cross your fingers for me friends.

I probably won't type more then the above paragraph on this doc meds subject because #1 don't want too bore you and #2 if and when I do become with child again I will still have a chance of miscarriage again and I don't want to get everyone all excited. We've decided a specific time when I do get pregnant that we will release that information to the world. Just hoping it's before the holidays this year because that would be a killer present.

Lightening my mood

So I decided enough was enough. If I am going to accomplish my goals I needed to "Lighten" my mood. First I dyed my hair back to my blond color. I was happiest back in my teens as a blond and figure what the hell... it's bright cheery and can help me be positive right? Well so far I love it



Next, I read an article on MSN last week that Yellow nail polish can lift your spirits and is also a great color for Summer. So guess what I did last weekend? Went on a search for the most perfect shade of yellow. I found it at Target for like 2.50 it's called mellow yellow.
I put it on my toes and my fingers. At first I hated it, It's not my thing not to put red or pink on my toes. Today I've decided I really like it, it's growing on me. Maybe I'll venture out into some more bright colors this summer.

So try new things my friends... get out of the dark and into the spark!

Yeah, Yeah I know... I'm a lamer

I haven't posted anything in almost a month. I know I'm lame! I've been soo busy and preoccupied and depressed that I didn't want to yet again go on another rant.

I seriously think there is something wrong. I don't eat OR DRINK sugar for 40 days and only lose 6 lbs. At my weight I should have lost WAY more then that. I think since my miscarriage last year my body just can't adjust.. I'm staying stagnant.

So in an effort to correct my chem imbalance I'm going BACK to the docs but to a new one who specializes in this stuff. Crossing my fingers that #1 my insurance will cover most of it and #2 I'll get back to a good place.

I'm tired of being depressed and sad all the time. I'm tired of being jealous of everyone around me. Somethings got to give!

Haven't checked in a while

Hello all,

Well I did really good till Easter. I feel like since Easter I have had candy and soda and all the stuff I suffered 40 days with out.

Hello, My name is Samantha, and I'm a Sugaholic!!

It's so hard when every family gathering involves food and desserts. Easter, Mothers day, Baby showers, all wrapped up into 3 out of 4 weekends in a row. I know I am in control of what I put in and what efforts I put out. I'm really reconsidering joining a gym again. I miss water aerobics a lot.

FINALLY broke the Plateu!!!

So I've been complaining last week that I give up white bread, desserts, soda, and candy just to see the scale stay exactly the same. People kept telling me that maybe I put my body into shock and that I need to let my body adjust.

Well after 5 weeks I'm happy to report that the scale finally moved... and in my favor. I lost 3 lbs since last Monday... YIPPEEEEE!!!! Was stuck at 337 and today... 334!!! At this rate if I keep a 2-4 lb loss each week I will be under my goal of being under 300lbs by end of June.

Honestly, I have been having a hard time watching others eat desserts. Last night all I could do was smell Chocolate cake at my uncle in laws Bday party, but I have such a understanding Mother in law who didn't call out my name when it was time for my share of cake.:).. I'm so happy to have people in my life that support what I am doing.

I think I might actually keep this up after lent. or at least a strict only once a week version. I mean a girl needs to enjoy every once in a while right? But I think once a week for either dessert or a candy is good enough and not often enough to make me lapse. I might actually get that enjoyment feeling back.

Good luck fellow sistas! Have a good week!

Status Quo

So for the past month I've stayed around the same weight give or take 2 lbs. So I'm holding to the status Quo. I guess I should be happy I'm not gaining, but not happy I'm not losing. I've given up so much and the scale doesn't change.

Well a good friend of mine said that maybe it's the fertility vitamins I'm on. Maybe that is messing with my hormones and I need to stick with it because maybe once they balance out it'll drop off quick... Well I sure hope so.

This is really very discouraging. I know that every woman out there struggles and if you don't you are a lucky one. I don't want to find myself with some disease again but really isn't Obesity a disease too? It sure is. I don't know how many times I've thought there needs to be a fat camp that your insurance will help pay for only if you dedicate yourself and lose weight.

I've had my moments lately for desperate thoughts of going on HCG or something to help. I know it's only temporary but I've also known a few girls go on HCG drop 30-40 in a month and become pregnant with healthy babies.

I think if the fertilaid this month doesn't result in a AF or a BFP then I'll be heading back to the doctors. My poor emotions can't take this anymore.

So frustrating... really

So I'm over 2 weeks with no soda, candy, desserts, and white breads... You'd think the scale would move..... NOPE. I'm even eating more fruits and veggies... scale no move :P

I'm sticking with it hoping it's just some kind of adjustment period or something.
Trying not to be negative..

With drawls and the light... I see the light!

Hello all, I'm sure you want an update.

I have been off all sweets, soda, desserts and white bread for over 9 days now. I'm finally thru the with drawl stage... I felt like a complete drug addict. I'm now able to get thru my day with out sugar pick me ups. I feel wonderful. I feel like I'm actually living...

Now if the scale would truly reflect that... I'd be golden.

So last Sunday in 40 mins I went .5 miles farther then I had the previous time trying to walk my own 5K. I didn't make it to the finish line as it was time for family dinner and Duane picked me up on the way... but I was only .5 miles away from my goal! Another 10-15 mins and I would have been there. I was so super excited about it that i let the whole family know.

I will do this. I have a feeling it's going to become a new addiction. How much farther can I go this week? Can I make it to {fill in the blank}? can I make it to {fill in the blank} and back? Am I seeing and feeling results?

All smiles! 5K on March 26th here I come!

Checking in on my 2011 goals

I stated I don't do resolutions I do goals. So I thought I would take a moment on my break today to let you know what I've been doing to achieve some of these goals.

1. I am going to reconnect with myself
Update: Really trying to focus on the positive and not the negative. Try to also take time just for myself to think.
2. Continue on my weight loss journey
Update: This has been a real challenge for me. But I've given up some very hurtful health things for my lent season. So I'm hoping to show some positives on the scale soon.
3. Get outdoors!!!
Update: I've managed to get out and walk a little. Weather permitting of course. I'm hoping to get out more because I'm going to do 2 maybe more 5 K's this year. I'm also planning to take advantage of my Christmas present (Camera from my hubby) and get out hiking this year.. get some good pics
4. Watch less TV
Update: Let's be honest... when the weather is cold and crappy you watch a lot of TV. I've talked about a goal to watch no re-runs. But I do lay there and watch the biggest loser.
5. Focus on paying off debt
Update: Duane and I are communicating more about our finances. We are setting plans to pay certain bills off with our tax return and really take those payment amounts and apply them to another bill to pay down. Last year we acquired a fair amount of debt with his bells palsy incident... this year we are working to cleanse.
6. Continue Date nights
Update: We have really been doing well on this one. At least once a month, one night for just us. It's been enjoyable.

What is this self control you speak of?

So after losing 5 lbs last month I managed to gain it all back in a week!!! Not sure if it was the Girl Scout cookies (only eaten like 6 or 7 cookies the entire weekend) or the Mexican dinner Friday date night... or the pop corn... or all of it! Could also be that I don't tend to drink water on the weekends.

Either way I think I need to have a loooong discussion with my self control. Do I want to get pregnant and have a healthy baby? YES!! How bad do I want this? MORE THEN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD... then WHY oh WHY do I keep doing this to myself? It's funny because I don't eat a lot at one time. I eat every few hours but the fact that it's not that nutrient based is what is killing me. Lent season can't come soon enough. It starts on Wednesday and I'm already hiding the cookies and candies... out of sight out of mind. Maybe I'm being hard on myself, or maybe I need a swift kick in the ass. Either way my goals won't be accomplished until I get my self control into check.

Counting down 40 lbs... till June

So my work is doing a getting fit for summer challenge so I joined. My mini goal is to lose 40 lbs from now until June 1st. This is my personal goal. If I don't get there but at least get close I will be a happy girl! Also with the weather semi cooperating today I will get out and get walking more!!

I believe with Lent hitting next week that is going to help accelerate my efforts. Duane and I both are pushing each other to see that scale drop.

I've been trying to increase my water intake, decrease my bad carb intake, increase my healthy vitamins/fiber intake. This combination lock should be cracked in the next few months.

To elaborate "Sugars" that I'm giving up for Lent are: Cakes, Cookies, Pies, Candy, Soda (all), and any processed foods with high sugar. This is in addition to no white breads. I know I can't live with out bread.. sorry it's a fact.

What I'm giving up and This weeks focus

So it's almost Lent (March 9th till Easter) and I said I would let you know what I'm giving up... and I do believe that this might absolutely kill me or I really need to apologize to my husband now for what I will be putting him thru those 40 days.

No White Breads or Sugars

Oh goodness... yes, I said it! Now everyone can hold me to it!!!
This will only keep helping me on my continued fight against my fat suit.

So this weeks focus will be water intake. I really wanted a Starbucks frappacino this morning but instead I kept going to work and am starting my water intake... I'm going to try for 60 oz today, 80 oz tomorrow, 100 oz Wed and so forth until I hit my .5 oz for every lb I weigh. I figure if I stay around 120 oz I should be water logged enough hopefully. The problem with this is I have a lot A LOT of phone calls at work during the day and doing the pee pee dance is not very fun!

Well good luck this week guys... any suggestions on dishes that don't involve white breads or sugars pass them my way!

Valentines weekend

Most people go out to a nice fancy dinner. Eat Chocolates. Desserts. Basically all carby indulgence.

Well this year I decided to get back on a eating plan. I'm going to spend the weekend cooking, prepping, and getting my meals ready for the week.
This weekend I'm also starting my training for the 5K that I will be walking on March 26th. I'm also planning to do another one in May. I figure if I commit to these things then that is motivation to get my butt off the couch and get what I need to done BEFORE I relax.

Not to say I won't allow my self some Choco covered strawberries if I get them :) because I hinted to that.

Where's the good weather

So in a little over a month I am supposed to walk in a 5K for Epilepsy. My Sister-in-law has this and we are going to support her "Go Team Ray!!!"

So my mother in law is having shirts made for us and it's hard not to tell her I need size "Fat Ass" and be my sarcastic funny self because that's how I deal. What I'm most excited about is that I'm actually going to do this. I'm going to walk a 5K. I've said for years that I wanted to get fit enough to finish one. Damn it my time is NOW!!! I'm not waiting any longer.

So back to the topic... where is the good weather... welp not here in Utah apparently. I had an idea to walk from my house to my mother in laws house each weekend until the 5K... so far no bueno. It's a little over 3 miles but it's been so cold that not even my dog wants to touch the pavement. So I'm hoping for some good weather here shortly and I'm revamping my routine. Instead of trying to walk there once a week... I'm going to start off by walking as far as I can in 30 mins 2-3 days a week then doing it again on Sunday (weather permitting). Duane is going to pick me up. Then the next week I'm going to walk as far as I can in 45 mins 2-3 days and then on Sunday... and so forth until I reach my mother in laws house. Hopefully by the time the 5K rolls around I will have walked to my mother in laws house a few times... and then the 5K will be a breeze!!

My next blog update will be about this and what I'm choosing to give up for lent.. Stay tuned!

Happy Birthday to me!!

Now that my Birthday is over I wanted to post a pic of me.... and hope that next year my pic will show progress... I feel good this year! This IS my year.

On making the choice to embrace change

For so long I've been scared of change. To the point that I will stay in or in my mind create a miserable situation for years before deciding that change needs to happen. Whether that be a change in my attitude or a change of scenery... Either way it's change and I need to embrace it.

Right now I've been focusing on little changes. In my work out routines, In my appearance when I have time, and in my comments towards myself. This year Duane and I have decided we are going to embrace life and what ever changes are a head of us. We are going to start being active participants in our life rather then watch it pass us by. This, This has been the biggest change of all. Making the choice to choose life. Making the choice to embrace the world for all it's beauty and actually breathe it in. This takes a sacrifice in other aspects of our lives.

Point is until I change and choose to believe that my life is worth living... I will always be miserable. I HAVE TO BE THE POINT OF THE EQUATION THAT CHANGES!

On being positive about my self image

I know we all do this... we are told as little girls that we will grow up to be sooo beautiful. When we hit Jr. High/High school all of sudden we realize that we may not be as pretty or beautiful as someone else. We also see images of these beautiful airbrushed women every where when we are an adult. So today's topic for me is about getting past everything that has been programmed in me and to just love myself for who I am. I, like many, base my self worth/image off of the outside not whats inside.

I basically spent 2010 being really down on myself. that really did show thru my out word appearance as well. I stopped caring if I wore makeup at all, I stopped caring if my clothes were very "put together"... in fact I think I lived in sweat pants last year.

Well I've decided that if I'm positive rather then negative then my karma meter might kick in this year. I've been trying to put more of an effort in my out word appearance but on top of that I've told myself that I can't state a SINGLE negative comment about my weight or looks. I know it's only been a week but I do feel better and "Lighter" not being so down on myself all the time.

Last night we decided to go out to see my uncles band play with some friends. I got home from work and spent 2 hours getting fully ready. I felt more beautiful then I have I'd say in a year or more. All it took was a little effort and a positive outlook. Here is a pic:


I don't think I have any reason to be negative about that outcome from my efforts!

Mini goals this week

Monday, Tuesday, thursday, Friday and Saturday
I will have atleast 30 mins of moderate activity

So far I had 32 mins Monday
35 mins Tuesday... :) on track!
Thursday 32 mins
Friday : Going Dancing so I'll update after that

Not looking back but looking forward to 2011

So I was reading my friend Mindy's blog today about writing down your goals and hopes for 2011. So to stay in theme of wanting this year too be better then the last I am going to move on from 2010 to make 2011 a productive, life living, fulfilling one. I'm going to list my goals but go one step further to set mini goals so that each item is attemptable or achievable.

1. I am going to reconnect with myself
-Start writing or journaling more
-No more negative comments about myself
-take 20-30 mins a day just for myself (Meditation)
-Start taking steps to forgive and love myself
2. Continue on my weight loss journey
-Don't just talk the talk
-Move 30-60 mins a day (no excuses)
-Be accountable for EVERYTHING I put in my body
-Remember the vitamins
3. Get outdoors!!!
-Go Hiking to take pics
-Make it a habit to get out on Saturday/Sunday mornings
-Walk the dog more
-Get the yard the way I want it
4. Watch less TV
-This consumes my life, No longer!
-Things can be recorded and watched AFTER everything else is done
5. Focus on paying off debt
-Focus on one bill at a time
-Make a new budget for 2011
-Get Duane more involved in that budget
-Set financial goals together
6. Continue Date nights
-Once a month just a night out to focus on us
-My husband and my life are an important focus

These are just some... I've focused too much time on my work and am realizing I'm getting bigger and bigger and my excuse revolves around work. So this year I am going to start L-I-V-I-N! If I'm gone tomorrow I don't want to regret not living my life and putting what was important as a priority.

Happy new year all! Hope you have a prosperous year.