Lately I have been thinking long and hard about all aspects of my life. I'm doing well with weight loss, I'm in a good marriage, I'm starting to get hope back that possibly someday I'll hold MY child, and Hudson is happy now.
It's true though that you always want more then what you are blessed with. You want a thinner body faster, You want a healthy baby of your own, You want excitment to happen in your life every day, you want a bigger better home, You want your debt to disappear, you want clothes that work with your body, you want you want you want.
How do we overcome the "wants" and be happy with the "what I haves"?
Someday I think that I need to address this addiction to "always wanting more" with a professional. People will tell me, "Just be thankful" or "Just put it out of your mind" or "Your time will come". It honestly feels like I do everything to be good and moral but yet see others rewarded that are bad and S#itheads. It isn't that easy when you have an addictive personality to just not be happy with what you don't have. I've seen addicition all my life as well through those close to me. I know when I need help and I know when to ask for it.
Maybe it's just human nature. Maybe no one is meant to feel "Whole" and that's the challenge god has put before me. I know I don't usually get this deep in thought but today I'm really reflective.
1 comment:
I have a lot to say about this and am going to get real candid. I don't think wants are bad, I think they can keep you focused. I believe in using your wants to your benefit. We want a bigger house and our hospital bills (Charlie's birth) paid off so we live way below our means so we can make big payments and save, save, save. I also don't think wanting more means you aren't grateful. I had 3 gorgeous daughters but my heart ached for a son. I used that to drive me to find info to help increase my odds of having one.
Use your yearning of a better body and healthy baby to keep you on track and rely on faith to know you will someday get them both.
You know exactly what you want for your life, stop feeling greedy and guilty and keep fighting for it!
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