Hey, Fat Girl!

Fore warning I about cried when I read this.... I am this "Fat Girl"

(This is a blog entry from flintland.blogspot.com)

Hey, Fat Girl.

Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the
running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy.
You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make
you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops
on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so
much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes
at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You
never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the
reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is
tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a
brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will
far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face
your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this
physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult
decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take
is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so
slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were
in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is
stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is
possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and
put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that
the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so
inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people,
know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so
many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health,
“starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from
deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are
relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and
you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe
tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will
not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a
new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

Now that you've read it... honestly I've always been a very very strong person on the outside. But on the inside I am this girl. It wasn't until I found Jazzercize (thanks Christy!!!) that I truely feel I can hold my head up high, get my sweat on and don't see judgmental eyes. I now see and hear from people that are inspired by me. Those things keep me going and I know I will get there. Honestly, when I lose most of my weight I am going to pay it forward to other woman that struggle... show them there are kind people in the world. Let's stop tearing women down and start building us up!
Love you all! and thank you for reading this. It's very inspiring to know that there are others out there willing to write these things about the fact that "Fat Girls" are trying! "You may not think that walking is not doing anything, but you are still doing laps around those stuck on the couch!"

25% of goal for 2012

Checking in today to say as of Saturdays weigh in I've lost a total of 25 lbs this year. This means I'm officially 25% of my goal accomplished. Note that 20 of those lbs have been lost since early July. I have a feeling I may not hit 100 but I'm pushing to get as close as I can so I have no regrets.

How I feel:
Accomplished, Motivated, Energized, and ready to do more damage!

How I look:
I didn't take measurments until last night but from what I remember I am 2 inches down in my hips, 2 inches or so down in my waist, almost 2 cup sizes smaller. 2 inches down in my band size. And 3 inches down in each arm (where I want to be the most woot). The rest I'm unsure of but now I have a base gauge for the next time I plateau for 2 weeks. I've gone from tight fitting size 30/32 clothes to perfect fit size 26/28 (mostly 26's).

Mini Goals:
#1 To be in a size 24/26 by vacation October 8th
#2 Step it up for 4 Jazzercise classes a week (even if that means 1 1/2 classes on some nights)
#3 Walk EVERY morning on break for 15 mins
#4 Consider doing the free U OF U 5K on Sept 8th
#5 Continue to log every day on MFP (MyFitnessPal.com)

Already accomplished goals:
Signed up for Night of the Running Dead 1K

Playing with numbers

So I was just curious last night if upping my calories by 200 a day would show an impact. Well I'm proud to say my Plateau of 318 is broken. Last night with my clothes on and not fasting I weighed 315.5. My official weigh in is Friday so I'll be excited to see how much of a difference that made.

Last night I also did 1 1/2 Jazzercise classes which is the most I've done to date. I would have done a full 2 but I had to be somewhere. Have to tell you I was sore and tired and HUNGRY MONKEY by the time I got to where I needed to be. When I got home last night I downed a protein shake and some strawberries then an hour later went and passed out on the bed. Haven't been that tired from a work out in a LOOOOOONG time. I'll have to do that again sometime.

So what I learned: If my body isn't getting enough it will stay static on the scale, if my body is getting too much it will raise my wgt on the scale, if my body is getting just enough I will lose on the scale. I need to stop thinking that eating more will hurt me especially if those are the right things to eat.

I can't wait to go into the doctor again maybe next month to get my H1C tested again to see if my blood sugars have dropped. I also can't wait to see if my blood pressure is decreasing, it's hard to find a blood pressure station at a store that has an arm sleave big enough I swear they are all built for children.

Plateau should be a 4 letter word

ARRRRGGGGHHHH. So thrid weigh in in a row I'm at 318... no change

Last week I added more protein into my diet... no change...

I am 10 days into August and only 20 more to lose my ten lb goal. I just want to cry right now.

I know I need to just push through and keep counting my calories. I have been between 1400-1600 so I'm thinking of boosting to 1700-1800 and see if my body is in starvation mode. Could totally be why.

I have been pushing it harder at class but my emotional rollacoster lately has been killing me. I haven't been eating ANYTHING out of what I plan to eat. Why does this have to be so hard for me. I'm over 300 lbs and the weight should be falling off!

.5 lbs.... ehhh plateau anyone?

So on friday I weighed in only .5 lbs less then the week prior. That does bring my total for July to 16 lb loss. I decided not to do my usual "give up" because one week I stayed the same. I celebrated the fact that I was able to clear out 3 bags of "fat" clothes out of my closet to donate. I was able to fit into a whole other wardrobe that have been in boxes for 2-3 years. I accomplished more weightloss in one month then most do in a year (trust me because last year I only lost 10 the whole year).

It's all thanks to my BP meds and myfitnesspal.com

I count EVERY single calorie that goes in my mouth and all my "Additional" activity such as Jazzercise or cleaning. My calories are based on my seditary work lifestyle.

Lets see what August can bring. I want to try to lose 10 lbs a month if I can. So this week I upped my protein and down my carb % so let's see!