Happy Holidays everyone!

Probably not going to blog much. No new weightloss updates just preparing for the holiday season. Spending as much time with my husband as possible. Good friends, Good Family, and thanking god everyday I get to remain on this earth to be in these peoples lives.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Things I'm Thankful for and why I'm proud today!

So this year, I will admit I was a very negative ninny. Instead of facing what had happened I buried it and made excuses.

So yesterday I reflected on what I am thankful for:
1. My Husband, For always believing I CAN and making me laugh
2. My Family, for always sticking by my side
3. The fact that I still have a Job and that Duane still has a job. With out our jobs we would lose our home and everything we hold dear.
4. My health, even though I lost the baby earlier this year I have for the most part been pretty healthy this year.
5. Friends, With out their encouragement and laughter I wouldn't have made it thru.

So what I'm proud of. I'm proud that I kept to what I say every year. "It's Thanksgiving so keep to portion size and just enjoy the food." Every year I fail because I just say what the heck I give in... but not this year. I am determined to change my life. I had a little bit of everything and only having to go to one house helped a lot. I felt satisfied that I got all my favorite foods. I also didn't feel like shiz at the end of the night. I can do this. I can make it thru the holidays with out overdoing it!

My 100th post!!

Guess being consistent with posting has paid off. I'm now on my 100th post!

Weight wise really not much has changed. But I can say that I have remained the same so can't be totally negative.

My husband and I have pretty hefty goals for next year and we are starting with baby steps now. No this isn't a "Resolution" as it will be a life change. Hopefully we will never be looking back.

Starting next week we are doing something simple. We are getting up about an hour and a half before we have to leave for work and just actually GET OUR BUTTS out of bed. We are going to make sure we get a nutritious breakfast each day. This is something I neglect often and that is going to stop. Starting Dec 1st we are going to add in some exercise each morning. We will also add in a few things at night thru out the week.

We are both not happy with our bodies and it's time that we both support each other and do it. He even said I can be as hard on him as I can to get him to push harder. And if anyone knows me... no, I mean really knows me I can be pretty ruthless.

His main goal next year is to fit into a super hero costume (yes I'm talking spandex people) and I know he can do it!

My goal is to finally get out of the 300's and close to getting out of the 200's. My focus is no longer on trying to have a family... don't choke! doesn't mean I'm going to do anything to prevent it. It just means I'm done counting and calculating. I want to start living again. Put my efforts on something I can control.

So wish us well. I would say Luck but it's our own efforts that will help and luck has nothing to do with it.

Thanks to my loyal fans that read my blog. I will still try to at least blog every other week as we go along.

Why I failed

*I make myself promises and I don't keep them
*I look at my ultimate goal rather then small ones
*I don't give myself the time
*I make excuses for why I don't stay on track
*I am so full of medication right now trying to concieve that it's hard to regulate my emotions
*I tend to think that I don't have time to count every calorie I'd rather just live and get done at work what I need to
*I have enough stress with work that my homelife needs to be as simple as possible

Until I can kick these items... I don't believe I will succeed.

Celebrating the holiday

Tonight I celebrated my husbands 31st birthday.

Good times with friends and good food. In which I'm sure tomorrow I will be spending most of my time working off.

Here's some pics

Our baby as a clown


Duane and I

Honoring my mom!

I decided that this weeks post would be a reflection on my mother since it's Breast Cancer Month instead of my constant struggle with weight.

My mom got breast cancer at the age of 29 and passed at the age of 32 (May 8th, 1994, Mothers Day). I was 14 yrs old when she passed. For the three years of her battle she showed me how to be a strong independent woman so that I could be there to help my father and brother thru the tough times ahead. My mom also battled weight she would go from being 145 lbs at 5 foot 10 to 180 lbs back down to 145. She yo yo dieted a lot. Part of me wonders if that's what contributed to her cancer.

She was a loving wife, sister, and mother. We used to sing in the car because we so much wanted to be the Judds. She had a laugh and a smile that would wipe what ever was ailing you away. Some say that I look so much like her it's scary. Just wished I would have gotten her 5 foot 10 height hahaha..

She loved both my brother and I very much. She was always really protective but also made us work for what we wanted. I hope to someday instill some of those same lessons in my future children.

If anyone knows me they know that I am a very hard worker and passionate about my job. My mom was very much the same way. I've surpassed her work status by 2 levels and I'm very sure she'd be completely proud of that. She cared deeply about many of her workers and I've taken some of that passion into my own management style. I feel that I'm a pretty good manager to work under.

My mom used to be a big jokester with us. We'd all be laying in our rooms on a hot summer weekend and we could hear my mom laughing and making funny noises from her room to try and get us to laugh. We'd join in of course and then it would become a symphony of sounds and laughter.

So this week I'm dedicating my blog to my mother, my foundation, my rock. May she rest in peace and always live on thru my brother and I. Through our jokes, thoughts, actions, and laughter.

Not taping out... just adding to

So after 4 whole days of nothing but fruits, veggies, brown rice, oatmeal, egg whites, and milk... I've had it! My body is achy, I am very not myself, it's hard to think. I think I'm not getting enough calories to help me thru the day. So I'm adding in a few simple things: White meats, lower fat cheeses

Hopefully that will help me feel better so I can keep pushing thru.

Enough is enough

So I woke up this morning and saw that I had gained 3 lbs this week. I've made every meal at home so I don't understand where this is coming from.

As I stated in my previous blog starting tomorrow 10/11 I am eating clean until 10/29.

NO EXCUSES

I'm also going to get at least 30 mins of something in a day. If I have to break it up to walking at work on breaks sometimes or coming home and rockin out too JUST DANCE on the Wii... Doesn't matter as long as I'm moving. I've been also looking more into the Body Bugg or the equivalents. I think the only thing I don't like is that with each version I've seen you have to pay for a monthly membership to websites. Does anyone know of one that just has it's own computer software that maybe I can get package uploads later on?

Well I'm sticking to this like double sided tape!!! I will get under 300 by the new year. That's been my goal all year and I won't let myself down again.

Eating clean the rest of the month

Well until Oct 29th because that's my big Halloween party for my hubbys birthday.. Then back on Nov 1st.

But this weekend I'm going to shop for all kinds of colors: Greens, Yellows, Reds, Oranges, and maybe blues. I am going to eat as clean as I possibly can. Stock up my fridge at home and in my office to make sure I'm eating well.

I know it's too late for this competition but it's not too late to do this for myself. I want to be extra diligent going into the holidays that I don't gain a single lbs. In fact my goal is to get under 300 by the new year. I can do this. It'll take extra effort on my part and I'm willing to put myself first now.

Not sure what to write...

I gained 1.2 lbs in sept. So far for this weight loss comp I have gained weight since first weigh in. Depressing to say the least. The last several months have just been so hard. I feel like I need a vacation from it all... and then I realize the holidays are around the corner... well this holiday season I'm not going too give into everything. I will NOT gain another lb in fact I WILL lose some. To loose 33.4 lbs before new years is a very aggressive goal. But I need and have to do it!