Live... but you gotta learn!!

So this month has been hard. Between getting used to new medications and depression.. and plain old what can go wrong with my home or cars can and did. I just didn't have any fight left in me this month to do everything I needed to.

So what do I do from here? Well this week I'm going to accept Kari's challenge and do what I'm supposed to do. I made a meal plan and stuck to it at the store (no cookies, candy, etc.). My husband and I made a pact this week that neither of us can eat dinner until we've worked out Mon, Wed, Thur, & Fri. NO EXCUSES... the only one that will slide is if we are dead. The reason for this is that when we sit down to eat dinner we get sucked into what ever is on TV and never get back up. This will change!

Today I'm already starting off right and I brought all my food with me to work today so I am doing pretty well so far!

Good luck everyone...

Holy gads batman... weigh in is only a few more days away!!!

I have not at all been on plan or track or anything this month. This is completely my fault. I gave into every temptation, convenience, and just plain boredom.

I had to replace a central air unit this week which cost a pretty penny... and just trying to stay a float in this economy has been hard. It's been cheaper and easier to grab that dollar menu burger or what not.

ALL EXCUSES!!! and frankly I am tired of hearing them come out of my mouth!

I HAVE the opportunity to change my routine
I HAVE the opportunity to pre-prep meals before my week starts
I HAVE the opportunity to work out before I get tired and sit my bum on the couch
I HAVE the opportunity to stop eating when I'm bored just because it's there
and I HAVE to make a change before this kills me!

Loving yourself

Something that I've really been unable to achieve is self love.

I tend to make crack shots at myself or compare my girth to another person and I always come out losing. Examples: My husband will say something that has NOTHING to do with my weight and I jokingly say "Yeah it's because I'm fat", or I'll see a lady walk down the street and go "Damn she's big,... but I'm bigger". Not that I should ever EVER say that someone with weight problems is worse off then I am. It's not fair because I get butt hurt when someone makes reference towards me in passing.

Well it's gotten to the point that my husband doesn't even say anything or talk to me when I make shots like that. He told me "It hurts ME when you say stuff like that about yourself". I never realized before that I was hurting others AND hurting myself.

So my challenge this week is to look in the mirror each morning and say something positive about myself, Pick out something positive in others, and STOP CALLING MYSELF FAT for a laugh.

Looking thinner but no scale movement...

So I have to post this. Yesterday my mother in law told me I was looking good. My husband also earlier this weekend said he's noticing a difference. So I got on the scale... no difference.

I've been focusing on my food intake and not so much on my exercise per doctors instructions with my new medication (Makes me uber tired and fatigued)... So this week I'm going to focus on walking more. I want to see that scale dip!

This burns Calories?!?!?!?!

Yes, today I took the day off work... well I scheduled it off weeks ago just as a random day. Instead of sitting on my butt all day I decided to do house work and yard work... yes! Burnin the calories!

On being broke for a week... but still making good choices

So as what always happens... events come up that you need to buy gifts for. Computer needed a new Hard Drive. The thunder storms took out my wireless router... what else... hahahah

So needless to say until next pay day I barely have a dime to my name. I did however manage to look in my cupboards/fridge and realize I have been buying a lot of great foods and you know what... we'll be ok!

I have 3 bunches of broccoli, celery, salad, spinach, carrots, apples, oranges, grapes, etc. etc. So when my hubby was a little worried I reassured him that all I have to do is cook a little extra for dinners and we'll have left overs for lunches and we'll survive. It's sad that cooking at home is considered surviving. Wow in typing this I think this is a mind set I need to change. Eating out because there's no food in the house should be considered "Surviving" not the other way around.

Kari! I accept your challenge this week!

This Months goals

1. Stay Hydrated
2. Work out atleast 3 times a week
3. Make good eating choices on the week days and don't overdo it on the weekends
4. Say something positive about my self each day


That should be a good enough start

August Weigh in.... better then I thought

Oh man I've been trying hard. My medications have been wacky and I finally saw a specialist on Thursday. Looks like even with my issues I still managed to lose something. YAY!

So here's my scale pic.


I'm not too proud of this # as I know I can do much better. I'm going to really try to get my eating under control and my water intake this next month. Because working out isn't going to do it all.

The Toxicity of my city... of my city

Ok not a song I truly like but fitting for this post. I've been analysing the many issues that I have and in talking with my besty Jack it could be as simple as my pH balance being off. I'm not talking about my deodorant.. I'm talking about my Alkaline/Acid balance in my body. Think back to High school chemistry. If the water in your fish tank or the soil in the ground is too Acidic nothing good can survive.

If I'm more Acidic then that means that my body is a breading ground for diseases. Ew gross and NOT AGAIN! I have had some really weird things happen to me my whole life. Weird illnesses that basically started in my early 20's till now. Actually it's about the time I moved out of my dads house and really started scarfing down those fast food meals and comfort foods. I've had open sores on my legs that at the time the docs had no clue what they were but that antibiotics almost killed me.. today I believe its closest to Merca. Well I had them from about mid thigh to my toes on both legs. It's a miracle I'm still here. Next I had sudden sensitivity in my gums and bleeding. Not like spotting... like covering my entire pillow bleeding. Also when I start to get in a work out grove ALWAYS end up with a cold with in a week. It makes it so I don't want to work out!

So the more and more I think about it the more I'm realizing there is a lot more about my body that I need to know. Just counting calories isn't going to cut it. I am going to get some pH Testing strips from Walgreens or somewhere and test to see if Jack is correct. If he is then I'm changing my diet to be more Alkaline foods (Leafy Greens, Broccoli, Bananas, etc.) and then test again in a few weeks.

This could also be why my hormone levels are low in certain areas.. To know that all along a simple little strip of paper could have told me what I needed to know and help me adjust accordingly. Frustrating... but relieving all at the same time. This week I'm declaring is my last appt for my hormones as I believe I no longer want to give all my money to chemical medicine and try this. It's with in MY Control!

Admitting the things I can not change but having the courage to change the things I can......

So I'm commenting on others blogs and realizing I keep saying "Take it one day at a time" which is the motto for most addiction programs. I too feel that food is an addiction. The issue is that it's a necessary thing.

Tonight while my hubby is getting his car windshield replaced I'm going to head over to the local farmers market and start renewing my taste realtionship with fruits and veggies. Going to smell and touch and take in the aroma. I need to change how I associate with food. I'm finding lately that it's not that I'm enjoying what I'm eating. It's that I'm eating. Doesn't matter what it is it's just the act of eating is helping my down state. So no longer I say!

I am going to buy good things, prepare a nutritious meal, and feel accomplished. I am also going to take my time to enjoy the meal with out TV and focus on every bite. I'm even going to do what I was told as a kid and count my chews before I swallow.

Food and I need to change our relationship.. and it's got to be me to do so.