Feeling 85% and craving a work out

So this week as many of you know I have been battling a cold. I swear that it's stuck around longer because as my husband says "You just don't know how to relax and rest". I seriously don't. I don't have a clue why I'm not 95 lbs because I constantly feel like I have to be doing something. Dishes, Vacuuming, hunting flies to swat around the house, watering the lawns, pulling weeds and so on and so on.

I wish I had that thing that would just stop making me restless. I basically am go go go until I crash. I think this week it's been even more so. I've cut out my workouts because I basically haven't been able to breathe and I think that because I don't have that release... boom I'm restless! It's even gotten hard to fall asleep or stay asleep.

So I've still got a cough and semi stuffy nose but this weekend we are doing some major summer cleaning so I can set up my guest room :) That might be enough exercise for me... we'll see ;)

I swear this happens everytime....

Every time I get into a work out groove... BAM! I get a full blown cold and not one that you can work through. No the harder I worked the longer it's stayed. So today. I've spent all day resting and finally I'm starting to feel the gook break up in my chest.

This is a 4 day road block now for me. All that was under my control is what I've been eating and all I've been drinking is water, water... and um did I mention more water! I just hope that when I wake up tomorrow I'm 70% better so I can at least make it through the work day tomorrow. Not to mention I want to work out so bad I can taste it!

Baby! This is how I roll!

Ok so I started doing a variety of exercises to keep me motivated.
Walking
Hip Hop Abs DVD's (I love dancing and shaking my boootie!)
Yard work
Basically anything that keeps me moving for 30-60 mins constant.

Let me tell you that doing this for a week has really made me feel good. Even though I've developed a cough the last 2 days I'm pushing thru! I'm downing water like it's going out of style. Hold on boys and girls... This girl is determined!

Actions speak louder then words

So today I went and saw Eclipse for the second time. I love that movie. Sure there are things I wished they would have put in but think they did a great job.

I could have just come home this afternoon and sat on the couch but I didn't. thanks to my sister in law Beaux I went out walkin in the heat with her. Only walked for about 35-40 mins before the heat got to me but I did it. I didn't give up I did it!

Each day I'm going to try to overcome some hurtle in my way. I think that is a great mini goal. If I'm daily trying to do something physical sooner or later it'll get easier and easier.

A new competition starts today!!!

So I'm apart of a new competition that started today. Got my weigh in pic in as well as my full body shot pics.

I have the next few days off so I'm focusing on water intake, eating, and getting on a smooth schedule before I start back up to work next Tuesday.

Don't get me wrong I'm going to partake in some BBQ's this weekend but I'll be bellying up to the veggie tray!

Good luck everyone!

What do you do when...

You feel like your whole world around you is ending...

What I did was joined a weight loss competition to continue my journey. That's what I did. Be damned if I'm going to give up on myself and my desired future now.

The doc is running a bunch of tests on me to find out why I'm having issues conceiving and I told my husband that I am just plain tired of logging every little thing and trying so hard. So I need a new focus... something to bring me back to life. I am choosing me! It's selfish and I don't care. I deserve to be a smaller size. I deserve to be able to buy anything I want from a REGULAR store not a plus size store. AND I WILL GET THERE.

Kari was nice enough to tell me a statistic. 10% weight loss to cure diabetes and 10% weight loss to conceive. So I will try my hardest to reach what ever goal I need to so that I can conceive in a healthy way.

Continuing Journey

So this weekend I made a list of what we are having for breakfast, Lunch, and dinner all week. We went grocery shopping and stuck to that list. The only variance was veggies and fruit that we saw looked appealing.

I have to say that eating healthy does come at a cost. A cost to your wallet! Only half our cart was filled and it came up to about $120 in groceries when the week previous we spent 100 and had a full cart. But I guess that is what we need to do to become healthy!

So I know that the first week is always the hardest. So I will check back in next week with what we accomplished.

I also started writing a book on my weight loss experiences. I got 8 pages in on just the history till now last night. Of course more just notes and chicken scratches and I'll have to elaborate later, but it's a good start. I believe that anyone can benefit from my story just like I've benefited from so many others.

I won't even finish this book until after my total weight loss. Not even sure if I'll share it or get it published. I think for now it's more for me. More like a journal to understand why I keep coming back to this fat self and not just be happy with my skinny self.

I'm an expert at gaining weight

I've decided I'm an expert at gaining weight. What I'm not an expert at is losing it!

I seriously will gain 5-7 lbs in a week if all I do is not focus on myself. I allow myself to just eat when ever or not eat at all for certain meals. I will munch more at night then I do in the morning. All bad things. I also allow myself to do 0 physical activity other then clean the house because I claim to be "Exhausted".

I know this is something that we all go through. The ups and downs of weight loss. I just feel bad when there is always a family function or friends function and there is food. They wonder why you aren't eating and pretty much make you feel guilty for being on a diet. Temptation is a bitch!

Food right now is something that controls me not me controlling it!

Summer... oh sweet summer!

I love summer.... you wana know why?

FRUIT!!! and all you can eat of it!

I love watermellon and cantlope. I love honey dews and strawberries... Man I'm in heaven right now there's some in my fridge! I swear if I lived in a place that this was avalible all year long I would be so skinny because I can totally eat nothing but fruit and be happy the rest of my life!

Happy Summer everyone!

Yeah it's true, giving up is easier

So they say that giving up is easier then actually doing something. I believe that to be true. My whole life I have given up on my weight loss for other things. That is how I got this big.

So I have to ask myself. Am "I" not worth it. Is my "life" not worth the trying?

Each day I find my self trying to save my life, but in some ways I just don't see myself succeeding like I used to in the past. I know that I self sabotage. Maybe I'm up too many hours in the day that's why I'm always starving at 10 PM. I don't know. But I will die trying to figure it out. My body seems to be the damn davinci code or something. There has got to be a healthy balance.. no drastic diets... moderate exercise... please = results!!!