Not many of you know that in early December I found out I was pregnant. I had a difficult month with sickness and spotting and pains. At my 9 week checkup (Jan. 5th 2010)my doc could not get a heartbeat and sent me for a U/S (Jan. 6th 2010) which turned out to be blank. Completely BLANK! The symptoms that my doc had told me previously for miscarriage were not what I experianced in late dec. I had been spotting all month and had a couple heavy days. The pains she thought I was having she said was due to bloat and constipation because there wasn't any matter passing really that she stated could be the fetus. So regardless I miscarried.
Now miscarriages are no strangers to women on my mom's side of the family. Infact my mom had 5-6 miscarriages that my dad could remember in the 6 years between my birth and my brother. So mentally I was a little prepared to not get too overly excited about my expentant state until I was for sure carrying a baby that may make it full term.
I have been overweight my entire twenties and on the 23rd of Jan I turn 30. I should be super excited about my birthday but just to know that I spent an entire decade overweight is a little depressing. I've tried many things and in the past few months decided I was going to start to question myself when I go to grab food.... Do I need it... is it healthy... and what is making me want this so much! I think that maybe dealing with my inner issues may help stop the cycle. I don't want to be writing a blog when I'm 40 telling people how I spent 2 decades fat! So I really am trying to make better choices.
So two things.... I need to lose some weight so that I feel better about trying again for a baby... I also need to do this so I can focus on a positive and not the negative of what I just went through.
One day at a time right?
9 comments:
One day at a time! Totally key! :) Thanks for sharing this with the blogging world. Miscarriage is NOT something that is easy to go through and NOT something that can be taken lightly.
And... I'm so excited to support you in your weight loss goals. I spent an entire decade overweight... and... I am so excited to enter this next one with a new outlook on life. It's not just about losing weight.. It's about GAINING HEALTH!! And it's amazing how many opportunities to learn and grow come with weight loss. I know you've been successful at this in the past... can't wait to see all the successes that lie in your future!
Yes one day at a time is right! i know the feeling of going through a miscarriage. I've had one in between every successful birth Now I have 4 wonderful children. It does make it difficult to get excited about your pending expectancy until you are further along. Trust me I know. But keep on trying and you will get there. I too have been "over weight", FAT pretty much my whole life. Always the bigger girl in class or whatever. I am now embarking on Karilynn's comp to try to loose that extra person or two I've been lugging around with me forever, LOL. I wish you all the luck in the world and I'll keep following you to see how you are doing.
Good for you for taking control of your life! I know it is not an easy step. Believe me. I am there with you. I had over 100 pounds to lose when we started this comp! I am under that now! If I know one thing it is to never quit. That is the way I always played my games. Which is weird to me now cuz I am so competitive. I played volleyball in college for crying out loud! But its about NOW. Its not about the past and how much time you have wasted. Don't dwell on that. Decide now to make the change and it will happen. Even though you are not officially in the comp I am MORE than willing to support you!! Good Luck and I can't wait to see your progress!!!
Don't let your yesterdays determine your tomorrows!!!
You CAN do it! Keep up the good work and continue POWERING FORWARD!!! Good luck!
Samantha- Just take one day at a time and anything is possible! Good Luck!
So excited to add you to my blog list and to support you all the way, sorry i haven't been doing it already. I can't wait to see some excellent before and after pictures. I know they will be awesome. :0)
That's what this is all about just doing it one day, one choice at a time.
I was sad to hear your news. Tough stuff. But I am proud of you for staying on track. This was definitely something that could've easily derailed you and you stuck with it. Way to stay strong!
Hey Samantha,
Just wanted to check in with you today. Don't know why and don't know you but you were weighing on my heart this morning. So I'll send a special prayer up for you! hope all is well.
Oh thanks! Yes I'm having a ruff day today I think because tomorrow is my 30th birthday and my hopes and dreams for that birthday are not coming to light. I need to stop trying to live in this perfect bubble and just let things be and happen and enjoy my time with friends.
Thank you for your thoughts.
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