20 lbs down

As each day passes, it's getting easier and easier to eat the restricted diet. Don't get me wrong, I am hoping and praying that phase 3 comes fast, because I'd rather eat to maintain. It's just been easier to not be as tempted.

So today I hopped on the scale and it shows 319.6! That's an exact 20 lbs loss. I was going to wait until Friday to blog again, but I felt like this was a milestone that should be visually celebrated.

I will put up my before and afters once I finish the full 6 weeks on restricted. That should be around August 16th.

I made my own version of a apple/strawberry pie last night. It wasn't bad but could have used some Stevia. I'm not allowing stevia at this point to try and lower my blood sugars.

1 gala apple
9-10 med strawberries
dash of nutmeg (I would reduce or cut this out. It was a little overpowering)
dash of cinnamon
2 crushed up melba toasts

Bake at 375 for 25-30 mins and serve.

almost 2 weeks

Hello all,

I am following up to document my progress. I am almost 2 weeks in (3 days shy) and here are my stats.

I started at 339.6 I am now 322.8 which is a loss of 16.8 lbs.
I have found that salad with no dressing is terrible and almost made me quit this whole thing 5 days ago. I refocused on the foods I can have that I do like and I'm doing much better. Surprising things have happened this week with my body, they are TMI so I won't go into details but seems that my chemicals maybe balancing themselves.

I am finding that I'm a little more focused and not so irratable this week. I also feel that I have the drive to see this thing through the end (August 16th or so). I've become a little taste snob as far as "spicing" it up so that it's not bland and boring meats each day.

AND... anyone that knows me, knows I HATE fish unless it's breaded, deep fried and a bucket o tartar sauce. Well last night I bought some tilapia to throw on the grill this weekend. Thinking squeeze fresh lemon and some herb seasonings. We'll see how it pans out, I may have to try it outside because I HATE the smell of fish!!!!

We went to the movies last weekend and all I had was water. I was so depressed and even cried when I got home. I miss popcorn the most. It's made me realize how much of a food addict I really am. So I decided that in the next phase I will allow myself popcorn once a month. Not at every movie, every week, etc... once a month. I have my husband who is going to hold me to it even though I know I can do this.

Well enough rambling for today... on my way and feeling great!

Starting the Omnitrition plan

With my busy schedule and my need to drop lbs... I've done some research. With my doctors recommendations as well I finally decided to try out Omni drops. If you so choose to research them yourself, www.omnitrition.com/annabfit is my connection. Because HCG is so controversial, I want to start by stating: I've heard it all, said it all myself, and after much research have decided to do a round. Everyone has their own paths. Some maybe more drastic then others. This is pretty drastic in it's restrictions, but they do have you do a maintenance period where you work closely with your counselor and eat normal healthy portions. So I'm going to blog, not sure if I'll end up posting the link on FB until I'm farther along, or maybe not at all. I felt I should journal though to keep me on track.

So Saturday and Sunday were what I like to call "fattening" days but they call it loading days. It's been so hot that I probably didn't eat as much as I should have. I was supposed to remain full the 2 days. I was supposed to gain weight. I lost weight the first day and gained the second, so I broke even. All the while starting the drops.

Today is GROUND 0. It's where you follow the eating regimen, continue the drops, and drink drink drink water.

Current weight: 339.2 (ugh, so mad that I even am back up to this weight)

Food consumed:
1 navel orange

4 oz. Chicken breast
2 cups romaine salad (no dressing)

4 oz. Chicken breast seasoned with salt free garlic and herb
4 oz. Asparagus also seasoned
2 dashes of sea salt

1 gala apple

Water: goal 1 gallon

How do I feel? Well I have to pee, A LOT!!! but I know once my body is used to that then I will be ok. I am not hungry, and because I was so sick off all the junk food over the weekend, I rather enjoyed my meals today. My mood has been antsy only because I've been off work 5 days now and go back tomorrow. I've prepped enough meats to last the next 4-5 days and will shortly be fixing quick grab exact serving size veggie packs. No excuses.

Changing life, trying to be strong

So, I have been using MFP again to log all of my food. I'm going on 12 straight days of logging. I've lost about 4 lbs. I also have been trying to be more prepared for meals and such. I hate fast food and refuse for it to be an alternative to a good home cooked meal.

Loving summer fruits right now! Replacing chips and fries for pineapple, strawberries, raspberries... etc. AMAZEBALLS

Next step, figure out how to get the energy to get up early to start working out in the mornings. I make TOO many excuses with work and school that I just don't muster the energy in the evenings.

A letter to myself

Dear Self,

I promise to stop putting you down.

I promise to feed you the right amounts and the right foods.

I promise to dress you well.

I promise to give you time to relax.

I promise to celebrate your accomplishments.

I promise to drink more water so that I can keep my organs working.

I promise to stop binging and purging every few months, especially out of guilt, relapsing into my teenage ways.

I promise to take you out dancing.

I promise to move you more.

and lastly,

I promise to love you unconditionally. The way that I'm able to love others. It's been far too long that I've treated you worse then I would a foe. You are not my foe. No one should be able to love you more then me, and the tables need to turn this way. I also add to this promise that I will stop stating words and start showing actions.

Love,

Me

Just checking in

So I haven't really budged on the weight front. There have been a lot of excuses made on my part since my birthday. The good thing now is I know they are just excuses and that they don't define me or my ultimate goal.

I do have to say that I feel that I might be spending far too much time on the Baby Center site on the forums. Especially the ones where people are "tweaking" test pictures to try and tell if there really is a line there. I almost feel like I need to stop obsessing in some manner about having a kid. I stopped testing and tracking things but now I feel I've gone to another extreme. It's like I need to just stop everything baby all together and obsess about just eating healthy and losing weight. So because things have been out of wack and stressful, I'm going on vacation sooner then I normally do in the spring. Maybe this will give me time to relax and recenter.

School is going very well. I have made the presidents list 2 qtrs in a row and just found out I aced another class :). I can kick ass at so many things in my life! Go me!

Truckin along!

So I am down 6.8lbs so far this year. That's about (17 days / 6.8lbs) .4lbs a day. Not bad for second week of changes. I figure a loss is a loss and as long as I keep losing, I'm better off then before.

Next week is my birthday. I've mentally planned for some things. In the past, I would get three celebrations which would involve heavy foods and cake. This year, I decided not to do a party at home, rather inviting friends to meet us for a movie. Hoping that #1 that eliminates that cake and #2 that I can balance out my days next week to compensate a little popcorn. I also asked my step mom to see if she can make me a glutten free carrot cake (Carrot cake is a tradition for my birthday) and we'd have a chef salad dinner. The last place is my in laws house, but I'm hoping with my mother in laws injuries that I can gently let her off the hook and not have a party there at all. That means going from 3 cakes to 1 healthy alternative cake. I still want to lose and also celebrate my birthday. I'll keep you posted.

I have to say that up until last night, I didn't want any desserts. Last night I caved into Duane and made some choco chip cookies. A small batch. I had 2 cookies too many (3 in total) because my tummy was not liking all that and I felt sick mins after eating it. This I am seeing as a good sign. All of this drinking smoothies and trying to get in more veggies, reducing breads to almost nothing has to be doing something right?

Recap of my 2013

Holy Hanna!! 2013 was a crazy year for me. As you can see I haven't hardly blogged at all. I've decided that this year, regardless if anyone reads these, I am going to have a place to put my thoughts.

So let's first recap my 2013, for those interested.
After my grandfathers death during the holidays in 2012, the first part of 2013 was a little ruff. Not that I was emotional or a wreck but my father had a hard hard time with it all. As time passed things seemed to get better with him emotionally. I love my dad and have at times had to be a rock for the family to keep it together. I don't mind it.

So in April and October we went to our condo in San Diego. Just Duane and I both times, and we needed those breaks. We have so much fun together and decided on the April trip to not plan anything. We woke up each day and decided what we wanted to do. If we wanted to go out, we went out. If we wanted to be lazy and watch movies all day, we did. It was a couple of amazing trips.

In July, I got really fed up with this baby making business I've been doing for several years. I decided to no longer put my need for getting a higher education on hold. So I with in a week signed up with Stevens Henager College/Independance University to obtain my bachalors in business with a emphasis in HR. I just finished my second term last night, happy to say that I made the presidents list first qtr and well on my way to make it again second qtr. I'd be lying if I said it was easy, especially with a more then full time job on top of it. I have to say that I've managed to balance very well. The only thing that I've really sacraficed is working out, which I plan to incorperate back in.

Those are the major things that happened this year. So let me tell you what I've done so far this year:

*Added smoothies and making my own juices to my diet
*Increased Veggie consumption
*Decreases breads, crackers, etc. to almost nothing
-To date I've lost 5 lbs

Goals:
*Get outside more
*Live in the moment more (stop living on my phone)
*Continue to hit the Presidents/Deans list each qtr

That's pretty much it! My focus this year is to make memories, stop stressing about making the baby and enjoy the process (No charting, temping, testing), and get my body healthy while expanding my mind!

It's been like... forever

It really has been a while since I've even been on here to blog. I got so focused on the fertility meds that I lost sight of me. We've been trying so hard to have a baby that we lost sight of us. I finally had it. In July I told Duane, No MORE. I need to focus on goals I intend for myself.

I instantly registered for school and am now attending Stevens Henager College. I am moving towards my degree in Business with a emphasis in HR. This will complete a goal I've had forever which will be to graduate college. My next goal is to make the Presidents list a few times while I'm in college. For those of you who don't know... that's the tippy top! past the deans list.

I also know I need to refocus my health efforts. I've gained some weight back and I don't feel comfortable in my clothes. I'm NOT buying larger sizes so I need to spend the money on what I need to continue my health.

Major changes

As most of you know I have been trying to have a baby for almost 4 years now. It's been a very very rough road for my husband and I. Well earlier this year we basically made a pact. We try everything we can and if it doesn't happen by the end of the year then we just move on with our lives. It's hard for some to understand and see at as we are just quitting at that point. After many years of heart ache I want to focus on what I do have and stop living unhappily.

So no, this isn't some major announcement that we are having a kid. This is me pouring my thoughts out... not that hardly anyone will read this. What I have done this year: I started on rounds of provera to jump start regular cycles. I was also put on metformin to help with my insulin levels in my ovaries. In march I took a 50mg round of clomid which with testing proved to not have worked. So this month I took double that. I go in for more blood tests this week to see if I even ovulated which has been my big problem since I don't have regular cycles. Wish me luck there.

So onto my major changes. I have decided to cut out breads. I'm going to try to only do brown rice, maybe tortillas sparingly, yogurt/low fat cheeses, veggies, fruits, and meats (I consider eggs a meat). I may add oatmeal in eventually if I need a filler. I may even introduce more dairy back in but I'm trying to go as low carb as possible. If I get my diet under control then all this working out will prove results. At some point I want to be able to ignore the scale and go by how I look and feel. With Duane's help I have been working on not looking at myself with blinders on. No more camera tricks to hide my double chin. This is me.... I need to love me and work on me.

Next thing I am looking forward to is a breast cancer walk on May 11th. I will probably post some pics after that event.
Thanks for letting me vent about what's been holding me back and actually has made me gain the past few months. I have a feeling my meds have stunted my progress and I need to eat very clean to get where I want to go.